Johnson Family Newsletter

Volume XXX

504 Richard St, Union SC 29379

If you write annual Christmas letters long enough, you eventually arrive at the “XXX” edition! No worries though. There will be no seductive pictures of Steve’s colonoscopy scans or the two of us in our matching Elf leggings, passionately smooching under the mistletoe. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!) Instead, you’ll have to settle for our 30^th consecutive holiday missive…a recap of two adventurers living in a 300-square-foot house on wheels.

The first big event of 2017 was the 80^th birthday celebration for Steve’s dad, aka Grandpa. Grandpa’s year was highlighted by finding love again and marrying Gail, who we happily welcomed into the family. He also is courageously battling cancer which, to date, has been kept under control. He appreciates prayers but tells us not to worry about him because, “I’ve had a great life…made it to 80, which is longer than anyone in my family has. I’m not going to start complaining now.” There is peace in knowing your future is secure.

We returned to Tucson, AZ and our RV in mid-January, where Steve, aka Fob, with Janet’s superb editorial assistance, published his first novel, which chronicles his 2016 thru-hike of the Appalachian Trail. Many reading this letter have supported and encouraged Steve’s fledgling writing career, and for that he is grateful. When we weren’t stalking extraneous commas and dangling participles in the Arizona desert, we volunteered with the Tucson Food Bank…where we learned about food bag assembly lines, harvesting broccoli and chard, and building and maintaining earthworm farms. Steve found cultivating earthworms to be remarkably similar to his Pentagon tour.

In March, we pointed the RV west and then north on an ambitious Wild, Wild West Tour. Over the next 6 months and 8,000 miles, we…

• Volunteered, as Sojourners, at…
  • Yosemite Bible Camp, CA – tended to the mother of all burn piles at a camp heavily damaged by floods & fallen trees
  • Delano Bay Christian Camp, WA – prettiest spot on the Sojourning circuit; during play time, Steve learned to harvest giant clam-like gooey duck nostrils with a shovel
  • Yellowstone Bible Camp, MT – returned to the beautiful mountain camp we had visited 25 years ago, where Robert Redford once filmed A River Runs Through It
  • Rupert Church of Christ, ID – painting & VBS & more painting & more VBS
  • Mountain States Children’s Home, CO – home to some of the coolest kids and staff on the planet. Steve was invited to make his first Lessons Learned on the AT presentation, and has since shared versions of it at churches, schools, and civic organizations around the country.

• Hiked and were inspired at 15 national parks…
  • Joshua Tree – named for its trees (plants), but it’s more about rock climbing
  • Yosemite – stunning! Our favorite overall national park!
  • Sequoia, Kings Canyon, & Redwood – you have to see the trees to believe them
  • Crater Lake – 2^nd only to Yosemite in its beauty, especially with 12’ snowfall banks framing the rim
  • Olympic – incredible variety, including a rainforest
  • Yellowstone – 2^nd favorite park and the best for wildlife and geothermal activity
  • Grand Teton – visited on an overcast day, but did see a mother Grizzly + 2 cubs
  • Zion – features the Narrows…best national park hike we’ve done and one of the best canyon hikes in the world; also featured a visit from relatives Dana & Cody
  • Arches – turns out the park is not named after parts of the foot formed by the tarsal and metatarsal bones
  • Capitol Reef – go for the history and 100-mile-long Waterpocket Fold; stay for the warm, homemade pie at the Gifford Homestead
  • Bryce Canyon – went to the hoodoo-filled amphitheater & sang Bryce, Bryce Baby
  • Canyonlands – teared up at the spot where Thelma & Louise plunged to their deaths
  • Rocky Mountain – John Denver got it right

• Explored several cities…
  • San Diego – easily our favorite CA city. Nearby La Jolla, with its magnificent shoreline and hundreds of seals, belongs on everyone’s bucket list.
  • Los Angeles – not fans. Horrendous traffic, smog, over-crowding, the Lakers, etc. We did enjoy attending the filming of America’s Got Talent…and the behind-the-scenes look at movie-making on the Warner Brothers Studio Tour.
  • San Francisco – featured Steve’s favorite West Coast city attraction…Alcatraz Island!
  • Portland – every city should have a Powell’s used book store
  • Astoria, OR – Da Goonies met Da Johnsons
  • Seattle – did we watch them toss salmon at Pike Place Market; ascend The Needle; and visit the first Starbucks? Of course, we did!
  • Hill AFB, UT – a great military RV campground to finish Fob’s Vol 2, so we did
  • USAF Academy, CO – another great military campground, where we watched the eclipse

In September, we traveled to hurricane-ravaged Beaumont, TX, for a week of relief work with the Church of Christ Disaster Response team. If you ever think you’ve got it bad, spend some time with people whose every last physical possession was under water. With God’s help, they and others affected by the ’17 storms will get back on their feet.

In October, we finally sold our Virginia house and happily relinquished the landlord title we’d held for 9 years. We also returned to Marshall, TX for our annual Sojourner workshop, where we caught up with “old” friends and made an appearance (along with our RV) in a few Sojourner promotional videos…viewable at sojourning.org or on Facebook at “Sojourners Evangelism.” We then traveled around the Southeast visiting friends and family we hadn’t seen in a while.

In November, we gathered with our sons and their wives for a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend in Pennsylvania’s Pocono mountains. Despite arranging them private rooms, there are still no grandbabies to announce. We are excited that Jason & Rachel will be moving to Winston-Salem NC in January where he’ll begin his second year of residency in Prosthetics & Orthotics. Meanwhile, Kyle continues his ministry work with the Lafayette church near STL as he and Laci both work to finish their graduate degrees and raise Pita (a precocious Bichon Frise with her own Instagram account).

This holiday season, we’re thankful for family and friends around the country. We’re thankful for our little home on wheels. It forced us to downsize and simplify, and that has opened up opportunities around the country to travel, serve, meet incredible people, and write a few books. Mostly, we’re grateful to God for sending Jesus, a gift that keeps on giving. Merry Christmas!

1. The American flag represents the United States of America. I love our country and am proud to be an American. It is an honor and a privilege to be able to stand and salute the symbol of our great nation.
2. More than 1.1 million Americans have given their lives defending our nation and keeping it free. We fly an American flag, and not some other, because of their sacrifices. We dishonor their memory, and their next of kin who have also sacrificed, when we dishonor the flag.
3. I come from a long line of patriotic Americans. My grandfather served in the Army under General Patton in World War II. My dad served 29 years in the Air Force and transported troops and equipment in the Vietnam War. I served 23 years in the Air Force, including a tour in Afghanistan. Those who have stood at attention in a war zone and saluted the flag-draped coffins of their brothers and sisters in arms who have given the last full measure of devotion…are usually going to continue standing up for the country and its flag. (Exhibit A: Alejandro Villanueva of the Pittsburgh Steelers)
4. Colin Kaepernick and presumably others kneel during the National Anthem to call attention to the oppression of blacks. According to Kaepernick, “there are bodies in the street and people [police officers] getting paid leave and getting away with murder.” While 2% of black people are killed by police officers (some justified and some not, all tragic), 97% of black deaths are at the hands of other blacks. Let that sink in. If, hypothetically, 97% of any ethnic or racial group’s deaths were caused by cigarette smoking and 2% from vaccinations (some a result of malpractice), where would you devote the bulk of your protesting energy? I’d go after cigarette smoking. That doesn’t mean criminally administered vaccinations don’t matter and shouldn’t be addressed…they just make up a much, much smaller percentage of the root cause.
5. As far as I can tell, kneeling during the National Anthem hasn’t worked. It has divided families, sports teams, and communities. Many are now boycotting the NFL. Race relations, as far as I can tell, haven’t improved. Blacks still face oppression, as do other identity groups, most recently Christians worshipping in Antioch, Tennessee. People who are racist are unlikely to have a change of heart because Mr. Kaepernick and others kneel during our National Anthem. If anything, the protests have probably made racist people even more racist.
6. If racial problems/oppression justify kneeling for our Anthem, where does it end? There has been racial/ethnic oppression as long as there have been humans. It may get better…it may get worse…but it will NEVER end. There will always be crime and poverty and a host of other problems in our nation. If an imperfect nation is grounds for kneeling during the anthem, then every citizen from every nation should be kneeling. In fact, don’t even play the Anthem…or even have an anthem. And while you’re at it, don’t respect the symbolism of the cross because churches aren’t perfect. Don’t honor your deceased relatives’ graves because they weren’t perfect. Don’t respect ANY role models because they ALL have imperfections (except for Jesus Christ).
7. To be clear, NFL players and others have a right to kneel during the National Anthem. Many brave men and women have fought to preserve their freedom to protest and dishonor the flag. I don’t have any issue with their “right” to do so. But I also have some rights…the right to not respect them, the right to not wear their jerseys or go to their games, and the right to blog my opinion while sitting at a Starbucks in South Texas. And employers, including NFL owners, have a right not to hire them.
8. Rather than protest the symbol of our great nation, take action that actually addresses the problem. (To his credit, Mr. Kaepernick has done some of that.) Make friends and spend time with someone who has a different skin color than you. Volunteer in disadvantaged communities/schools to improve the lives of others, including those of different racial/ethnic backgrounds. If you’re white, spend some time with people of color and you’ll eventually witness a fraction of the discrimination/oppression they experience. If you think “cops are bad,” spend some time riding in a police patrol car to see the challenges they face in crime-ridden communities. Teach your children to evaluate others based on the content of their character, rather than the color of their skin. Let’s direct our energy at changing hearts, including our own, rather than disrespecting our country.

As we near publication of Sir Fob W. Pot’s Journey to Katahdin, Volume 2, Mob (the Mother of Boy) sat down with Fob for an interview…

Mob: “So, Fob, you are about to publish the second and final volume of your AT journey. Tell us how you feel?”

Fob: “I feel a sense of joy, relief, and excitement…like giving birth.”

Mob: “Believe me, you know nothing about giving birth.”

Fob: “Valid point, Mob. But from what I’ve observed, both processes are messy, with hopefully a good outcome.”

Mob: “How does the second volume differ from the first?”

Fob: “I think Vol 2 paints a more realistic picture of how physically difficult an AT hike is. In the first half of my journey, everything was new, exciting, and mostly fun. In the second half, we get down to business. The White Mountains and southern Maine opened a jar of whoopin’ on Fob. It was really tough at times, and I hope I captured that in this latest volume.”

Mob: “Anything else?”

Fob: “It’s longer…60 pages and 27,000 words longer. Longer doesn’t necessarily mean better, but in this case, I hope it does. I think I dug deeper and had more ground to cover.”

Mob: “You decided to self-publish both books. Why did you choose that route?”

Fob: “Three reasons. First, I wanted to get both books written and published relatively quickly…within a year of completing my hike. I’m told it can take months to even hear back from publishers (if at all), and years to see the books in print (if at all). Second, I wanted complete control over content. I didn’t want a nature-based publisher telling me to take out all the “God stuff,” nor did I want a religious-oriented publisher telling me to take out the embarrassing stuff related to bodily functions. I happen to be a Christian who had bodily functions and other embarrassing incidents happen on the trail. That was all part of my journey…my story…and I wanted to tell all of it.”

Mob: “And your third reason?”

Fob: “Writing, to me, is a creative outlet, a ministry at times, and a hobby. Like a teenager who considers working on cars his hobby, I wanted to learn the process from A to Z. Can I go from a blank sheet of paper (screen) to a published book? Can I (well, we) edit the manuscript, design the cover, create an author Facebook page, market the book, and the rest of the process? All that has been a challenge…an opportunity to learn and grow. Like that teenager, I wanted to do my own oil change and change my own spark plugs. I also want to become proficient enough to help others self-publish their books.”

Mob: “But are there downsides to that approach?”

Fob: “Absolutely. I don’t have a team of professionals doing the editing, designing and marketing for me. I also don’t get to take advantage of the distribution and marketing channels of big publishing houses. I remember walking into Powell’s Book Store in Portland, Oregon…the largest independent new and used bookstore in the world…with 68,000 square feet of books…and my book wasn’t there. Pretty humbling. If I want it there, it’s all on me.”

Mob: “And your friends and family.”

Fob: “Exactly. I rely on the word of mouth of family and friends who believe in me. They tell a friend about my book, or buy the book as a gift for someone, or order the book for their local library. I suppose if my goal was to be a “professional writer” and make a living doing it, I might have gone with a publisher. Instead, I’m a hobbyist. My goal is to encourage people…to make them laugh, to make them think, to let them experience a trail they may never get a chance to thru-hike. I love the idea that someday, my great, great, great grandchild will be able read these tales. I would love to have something…anything…that my great, great, great grandfather or grandmother wrote about his/her life and adventures.”

Mob: “For those who might be interested in self-publishing, how much does it cost?”

Fob: “Aside from hundreds, no, thousands of hours of time, it cost me $139 per book. $99 for an ISBN (which can be gotten for free but there are downsides which I won’t get into), $30 for a Facebook boosted post (also optional), and $10 to order two proof copies of the book to review (also optional). So, literally, using Amazon’s CreateSpace, I could have published both books without spending a dime. By not having to pay an editor, book cover designer, web/Facebook page designer, etc., I recouped my investment on the day of publication. That was kind of important for a fixed income couple like ourselves.”

Mob: “So, for someone who wants to write a book, they can self-publish and not spend any money?”

Fob: “That’s true. The much bigger hurdle is having the time. And having a story worth telling. There are a lot of great stories out there still waiting to be told.”

Mob: “Without giving away too many details, what else can you tell readers about Volume 2?”

Fob: “Well, Fob dies at the end…just kidding! Let’s see…I can tell you there will be some new characters…I think readers will enjoy meeting Allan from Colorado, Cousteau from Louisiana and Li, my Chinese hiking buddy. I still laugh thinking about Li. There are more flashbacks to my life…what it was like growing up a Johnson. And a few more short, historical lessons on places I hiked through.”

Mob: “And more Fob Fundamentals.”

Fob: “Of course! I learned, or was reminded of, so many lessons during my hike. So, once again, I’ve captured them as Fob Fundamentals. I got really good feedback from readers on them from Vol 1…along with one guy who thought the book was well-written but too religious for his taste. Anytime you put your creative work out there for the world to see…especially personal beliefs related to matters of faith, you can expect some pushback. I’m okay with that. Not everyone sees the world from a Christian worldview. But I’ll continue to write from that perspective, because that’s who I am.”

Mob: “Any surprises in the book?”

Fob: “If I told you, they wouldn’t be surprises. But readers may be surprised to hear my re-writes of songs from artists ranging from John Lennon to the Ooompa-Loompas. I also take on a Billy Joel classic, which I renamed, “We Didn’t Start the Campfire.” It’s amazing what enters the mind when one is alone in the wilderness for long periods of time.”

Mob: “So when does your book tour begin?”

Fob: “There’s not really a book tour, per se. But, I’ve accepted invitations to speak about my AT journey to various groups and churches in Texas, Tennessee, South Carolina, and Florida, beginning in October. If we’re in the vicinity of a group interested in hearing about my tale in person, I’ll do my best to visit.”

Mob: “With all our travels, how would someone know what vicinity you’re in?”

Fob: “On our web page, bigsteveandliljan.com, there’s a link called “Current RV Travel Map” at the top. I try to keep that updated.”

Mob: “Last question. Now that you’ve completed your second and final AT book, do you have other writing projects in mind?”

Fob: “I actually have 5 or 6 book ideas swirling around in my head. The most compelling is an interesting and unique approach to a 365-Day daily devotional book. I’ve been thinking and praying about that. If I think long enough about something, the book tends to write itself.”

Mob: “One more thing…earlier, you mentioned oil changes on a car. I don’t remember you ever doing one of those.”

Fob: “Now hon, that was just an analogy. You know cars aren’t my hobby!”

 

It’s black! It’s white! I’ll stand my ground,

There’s no grey here, my fists will pound!

I’m right! You’re wrong! You’re a dumb hypocrite,

You lie, you cheat, you clearly don’t get it.

Trump hates! Trump protects! Hope you feel my aggression!

In our body politic, there can be no concession.

Alt left! Alt right! My watchword derision,

As our children look on, they see only division.

Can we stop for a moment? Take a breath, full and deep,

Put a brake on the madness, put our hatred to sleep.

Step away from the post, the score settling tweet,

Find someone in need, be kind and be sweet.

Honest Abe was so right, his pronouncement so grand,

A house divided, my friends, it simply won’t stand,

Let’s seek compromise, or agree to disagree,

But do so with respect, and not make an enemy.

May we love our neighbors, may we seek to understand,

May we tone down the rhetoric, and instead reach out a hand.

Johnson Family Newsletter

Volume XXIX

Eggnog with family, and holiday cheer,

Presents and snowflakes, it’s that time of year.

Forgo gay apparel, don a bad Christmas sweater,

Then gather around, for our annual letter.

 

Jason and Rachel, Connecticut bound,

New England’s stray animals, about to be found.

We’ll haul a truck with their stuff, the things they hold dear,

Hope Santa brings her mittens, and long johns for his rear.

 

More painting for Rach, and residency for him,

Give Jason a call, if you’re missing a limb.

They’ll explore new lands, and camp in the wild,

And maybe find time, to give us a grandchild.

 

As for Kyle and Laci, they got their degree,

Then she said yes, the two me’s became we.

We thought he’d stay single, I guess we were wrong,

Finding love can be tricky, with a neck a foot long.

 

Then off to St Louis, OT school for Lace,

Ministry for him, all by God’s grace.

He reads everything in sight, she loves a soft couch.

We hope that someday, there’ll be a baby in her pouch.

 

Enough grand baby talk! Give them space, give them time!

Just planting a seed, in this grand Christmas rhyme,

Grand parenting can be tough, can I handle such a cause?

Is it worse, I ask, than Jan’s menopause?

 

Steve went on a hike, it was quite the long journey,

Still can’t feel his feet, might end up on a gurney.

“Fob” lost some weight, gained a new, bearded look.

If you want more details, read his upcoming book.

 

Lil Jan hit the road, while Big Steve was away,

Loving friends and family, allowed her to stay.

Hamm’s, Watt’s, Gentry’s…Deboef’s and Maddux’s too,

Johnson’s, Leasure’s and Diamond’s, each a fun crew!

 

She met up with Steve, reunions are sweet,

The hot tub at Watauga, not a bad place to meet.

The Pennsylvania B&B, could have been the best,

But Steve was so tired, all we did was rest!  😉

 

After the trail, Lil Jan broke the news,

No, she wasn’t pregnant, we weren’t going on a cruise.

“We’re headed to the Grand Canyon, a great RV ride,

But just one more thing, hon…my parents are inside!”

We still live on the road, in our own wheel estate,

It’s not a good life, it’s really quite great!

We travel as Sojourners, to a camp or children’s home,

Or sometimes a church, who knows where we’ll roam?

 

 We’re in Tucson this winter, mid cactus and sand,

Serve at the Food Bank, lots of needs in this land.

Next year it’s California, and Washington too,

Then Montana and Colorado, there’s so much to do!

May your Christmas be great, and your New Year the best,

May you hold family close, and trust God with the rest.

May your pets remain healthy, may you keep them well fed,

Not an issue for us, because our Mandy is dead.

Merry Christmas!

Big Steve and Lil Jan