Alaska Land/Sea Cruise—Arctic Entry #12

Wednesday, June 6

Compartmentalization – a subconscious psychological defense used to avoid cognitive dissonance, or the mental discomfort and anxiety caused by a person’s having conflicting values, cognition, emotions, beliefs, etc. within themselves.

Compartmentalizing can be a good thing. A businessman, fireman, or professional athlete needs the capacity to leave behind a “bad day at the office” and shift to being a loving and nurturing spouse/parent that evening.

Compartmentalizing can also be a bad thing. A Christian who acts like a Christian in church buildings and when around Christians, but lives an unrestrained, immoral life elsewhere, is unwisely compartmentalizing. After all, God sees all compartments. Also, the fireman who had a bad day may, at times, need to open up to his spouse for support and encouragement–rather than compartmentalize.

Today, with this final cruise blog, I’m going to compartmentalize. Specifically, I’m going to mentally separate the cruise, which was wonderful, from the travel home, which was not.

Our Alaska land/sea cruise was all that we had hoped it would be. My takeaways:

1. An Alaska cruise is very different than one to the Caribbean. The scenery is better and more unique (my opinion) and the passengers are older. That said, if you have younger children, want to lay in the sun on the beach, pay less, or be on a louder/younger party boat, head to the Caribbean.

2. Figure out your priorities, and budget accordingly. Princess, like other cruise lines, has 2 priorities: 1. For you to have fun so you’ll return. 2. To separate you from your money at every opportunity. If you want a balcony room, sodas/alcohol, WiFi, more than one night of specialty dining, a spa treatment, one of the ship photographer’s photos, or to go on an excursion, you pay extra for it.

3. Traveling with family and friends is a blast. Everything from meals to excursions is more interesting and memorable. We frequently chose sitting around playing cards and trivia over the many ship activities.

4. I over-packed. I could have gotten by with half as much and just done laundry on the ship. Among many examples, I brought soap and shampoo and every room we stayed in provided that. That said, bring binoculars or a camera with a good zoom…and a good rain jacket.

5. Study the excursion options and pick a few good ones. We had fun hiking and kayaking with the group and going horseback riding on our own. All three allowed us to see more of Alaska than just the touristy ports.

6. Some guides were excellent; others were annoying. The annoying ones had a tendency to talk too much—to fill every inch of silence, rather than allow time for passengers to visit with each or reflect on what they were seeing. Less is more.

7. Bring an inquisitive mind. What can I learn about glaciers, my traveling companions, the waiter’s background, grizzly bear gender, the town’s history, salmon fishing, or the ship’s propulsion system? Try to learn something new every day. Your life—and you, will be far more interesting as a result.

Time now to compartmentalize the cruise experience into a fun, memorable experience I would love to do again someday.

Now, in a different, more shadowy compartment, let’s move on to our journey home. On paper, the plan looked solid. Disembark the ship, fly to St Louis via Chicago, and get a ride to Kyle and Laci’s apartment, arriving at 11 p.m. They would have a couple of hours to shower, repack, love on their dog, and get some sleep, before having to catch a flight the next morning to Greece. Kyle will be teaching classes on the Greek language and culture, and both of them will be chaperoning with Harding University’s Honors Abroad program for graduated high school seniors.

Let the customer service buffoonery begin…

Our disembarking paperwork showed we would have to go through ship customs, rather than travel “direct to bus” like Kyle and Laci, who had booked our tickets together. Wanting to streamline the process as much as possible, we went to customer service at the Princess lobby…

1. Princess Representative #1…”This happened because when you don’t book your flight through Princess, you have to provide your itinerary online. You must not have done that.” (Untrue. We provided and confirmed our itinerary in advance.)

2. Princess Rep #2…”There’s nothing we can do about it now…the names are with the airline.” (Untrue. There’s almost always something you can do; it may just require more effort on your part.)

3. Next morning, Princess Rep #3…”We fixed your problem. You’re now ‘Direct to Bus.'” (Told you it could be fixed. Still, only partially true. You fixed it, but didn’t give us a little sticker saying so, so while disembarking, we were stopped and an additional phone call had to be made.)

Shifting to United Airlines buffoonery…

4. At Vancouver airport, United scale #1 showed our two big pieces of luggage were 3 and 5 lbs under the 50-lb max. (Untrue. Scale at counter showed 1-2 lbs over max, resulting in a last second scramble to transfer clothes between suitcases and backpacks.)

5. United Rep #1 at Vancouver…“Your flight has been delayed. You might miss your connection from Chicago to STL. If so, you’ll be able to get your luggage. For security reasons, they won’t put your luggage on a flight you’re not on.” (Simply untrue.)

6. United Rep #2 at Chicago arrival gate, makes call to a number that is busy, then tells us…”Your plane just departed.” (Untrue.) “Your bags won’t be on it.” (Untrue.) “Go down to our customer service desk underneath the dinosaur statue and they will help you get your luggage.” (Untrue.)

7. United Rep #3 under dinosaur…”Your luggage will be on the next flight to STL in the morning.” (Untrue.) “The baggage office is closed for the evening so there is no way to get your luggage.” (Partially true, but for the wrong reason.) We asked for her supervisor.

8. United Rep #4, supervisor under dinosaur. “Since you missed your flight and will now have to get a rental car to get to STL in the morning so your son and his wife can catch their flight to Greece, I’ll put in a ‘Special Request’ (ooooh) to have your bags retrieved. They’ll be at Carousel 7 within 1-2 hours.” (Untrue.)

9. United Rep #5 at Carousel 7, first competent person. After researching, says, “Your connecting flight was delayed. It’s now gone but your bags are on it and you four could have been on it too. I’m sorry. I don’t know why we told you to go to customer service, rather than the gate.” (I don’t know either, but thanks for at least caring, researching, and giving us an accurate answer.)

Thus, we rented a car from Enterprise at 11 p.m. for a 5-hr drive to STL. The Enterprise customer service was exceptional.

On the road, we called United Customer Service to see if we would be able to retrieve our bags at 5 a.m. at the STL airport.

10. United Phone Rep #6…”No, I’m sorry but baggage claim doesn’t open until 8 a.m. You can’t get your bags until then.” (Untrue.)

11. United Phone Rep #7…”Baggage claim doesn’t open until 6 a.m.” (Untrue.)

12. United Phone Rep #8, second competent person of evening…”Let me check…okay, the United counter upstairs opens at 5 a.m. They have a key and will take you downstairs to unlock the area where your bags are.” Are you sure? “Yes” If they are unwilling can we call you back? “Absolutely, I’ll give you my name.” (100% True!)

After being up all day and driving through the night, we finally retrieved our bags at 5 a.m. at the STL airport. Without hesitation, the United counter lady took us downstairs to unlock and retrieve our bags. Kyle and Laci were able to shower, repack, and not get any sleep. We returned the rental car and had them to the airport at 7 a.m. for their flight to Greece. We returned to their apartment and collapsed on the bed, with an overgrown, attention-starved Bichon Frise resting on my pillow.

In retrospect, we unnecessarily rented a car ($150), got gas ($26) and drove through the night because United Rep #2 in Chicago didn’t take the time to research and give us an accurate answer. Her mistake was simply one in a series of untrue statements and poor customer service throughout the night. I’ll compartmentalize it in the bin called “reasons to avoid air travel whenever possible,” thus leaving my happy cruise memories bin intact.

Still, I’m thankful. Kyle and Laci safely made it to Greece. I drove through the night without falling asleep. Our luggage wasn’t lost. Our plane didn’t crash. Most importantly, Pita the Bichon Frise got a haircut this morning!

Yes, it could have been worse—a guy on the Enterprise shuttle with us was having to drive his wife and small children to Denver that night because their plane had to divert after being hit by lightning, right outside their window. Yikes!

I hope you’ve enjoyed my Alaska cruise blog, at least the first 11.5 entries, before the buffoonery began. If you’ve never been on a cruise to Alaska, I hope you get the chance some day.

After dog sitting for the next two weeks, we’ll travel to Fayetteville, TN for our next sojourn.

Enjoy your summer, and may most of your mental compartments be full of happy memories of loving family, close friends, and competent customer service.

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Alaska Land/Sea Cruise—Arctic Entry #11

Tuesday, June 5th

Last night, we gathered in the Game Room to play cards, trivia, and The Weird Game. Kyle invented the Weird Game several years ago during a family Christmas gathering.

The rules are simple: Each person takes everyone in the family (or friend group, or cruise traveling party) and ranks them from Weirdest to Most Normal. Scores are then compiled. Each ranker gets to define what constitutes weird. Generally, it is the degree to which someone is uninhibited, defies social norms, or behaves strangely.

On my side of the family, my sister Stacy is the undisputed Weirdest member of the family. She’s gone undefeated for the past decade. I’ve seen her relieve herself at restaurants (at the table), moon bicyclists, place my deceased Aunt Mary’s ashes in her nephew’s backpack (to be later discovered at school) and engage in other socially unacceptable behavior. To her credit, she’s also a deep thinker; wise, empathetic counselor; and awesome sister.

So, we played the name game and of the 14 members in our party, the 5 Weirdest were…

1. Tim Genry, Kyle’s father-in-law and the King of Weird.

2. Kyle…more on that in a moment.

3. Laci, Kyle’s wife…as we drove by a large, taxiing airplane near Juneau yesterday, she asked our guide if that was the airport. Bless her heart.

4. Steve, Kyle’s dad…pretty normal, except for when he activated the fart app whenever someone passed by the game room.

5. Janet, Kyle’s mom…5 to 7 times per day, her temperature suddenly rises by 20 degrees and flames exit her behind. Nuff said.

From a purely statistical standpoint, Kyle is the common denominator and has no chance of living a normal life or having normal children. He’ll continue dominating the Weird Game, studying Greek for fun, wearing Chacos 24/7, grooming his dog with dull child scissors, and pooping on trails.

For the first time on our trip, Alaska’s famed rainy weather began. With a leisurely port day in Ketchikan planned, the light drizzle wasn’t a big deal. We are grateful to have had ideal weather for most of our trip and all of our excursions.

After breakfast we disembarked and began a walking tour of Ketchikan. We did some touristy shopping and got coffee at the local cafes.

Among Ketchikan’s claims to fame:

1. One of its two zip codes, 99950, is the highest numbered in the United States.

2. “Salmon Capital of the World.”

3. Home of the Misty Fiords National Monument. (The “i” in “fiords” is pronounced “y,” as with Iellowstone National Park.)

4. Has the world’s largest collection of standing totem poles.

That’s all good stuff; but, in light of today’s theme, what about the Weird stuff? What about some history or attractions that would make Stacy or Kyle almost blush?

That answer came soon enough as we walked to an area at the mouth of Ketchikan Creek. The area earned Ketchikan a measure of infamy during the first half of the 20th century for a red-light district known as Creek Street, with brothels lining either side of the creek.

We approached 20 Creek Street (pictured) where Ketchikan’s most infamous resident, Beatrice Green, began to ply her trade in 1947. For half a century, this house, like so many others along the creek, was a place where both men and fish came to spawn… the fish once, many of the men repeatedly.

In 1954, when authorities brought an end to open prostitution on Creek Street, most of the ladies left town, retired, or moved to other neighborhoods. Police commissioner Gordon Sumner, noticing Miss Green hadn’t left, told her, “Miss Green, you don’t have to put on the red light. Those days are over. You don’t have to sell your body to the night.”

She refused to listen. Instead, Beatrice Green and a few others simply went underground.

Following the crackdown, she played a game of cat-and-mouse with the local police, entertaining “gentlemen callers” when she thought she could get away with it; lying low went the heat was on. When the Navy was in town, sailors would reportedly travel by/under water at high tide, and sneak into her home at a secret opening in the floor.

A little weird, no?

After returning to the ship, we celebrated our final dinner onboard at Cafe Bayou, a “specialty dining” location. Among many good eating experiences on this trip, this meal was the best. I had a salad with avocado slice and a small bowl of jambalaya for appetizers, a 22-ounce monster porterhouse steak for the entree, and a creamy chocolate and peanut butter concoction for dessert.

After dinner, we made our way to the Princess Theater to hear Janet sing in the Voice of the Ocean finals. Although she didn’t win the top prize, she got the crowd going with a wonderful, spirited performance of Dancing Queen. Two of the three judges spun their chairs for her and had good things to say. I’m very proud of my Little Dancing Queen for having the courage to compete, and kayak, on this cruise.

Tomorrow, our cruise will end and I’ll share one more post with details from our final day, travel home (total nightmare), and a few cruise takeaways. Yes, it’s time to resume our normal lives, traveling the country and living in a van down by the river. A life more than a few people have called…a little weird.

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Alaska Land/Sea Cruise—Arctic Entry #10

Sunday, June 3rd

We woke up and found ourselves in Juneau, the state capital. It is the second largest city in the U.S. by area, just behind Sitka and ahead of Wrangell and Anchorage, all 3 of which are also in Alaska. (Coming in at #5, the largest city by area in the continental U.S., is Jacksonville.)

We boarded a bus and headed out for the final excursion on our trip—a 4-mile hike to Mendenhall Glacier! We were fortunate to have a guide born and raised in Juneau, who provided insights on living in Alaska, wildlife, and glaciers.

This would turn out to be my favorite excursion because my favorite mode of wilderness transportation is by foot. Our hike took us through the 16.7-million acre Tongass National Forest, the largest National Forest in the U.S. It is part of an even larger temperate rain forest—the largest on the planet.

The scenery was stunning and the hike could be described as moderate to difficult, depending on your conditioning. There were a few sections with steep rock stairs, aided by handrails. Along the way, our guide pointed out all relevant flora and had us taste edible, citrusy spruce tree tips. Even more interesting was a fairly fresh beaver paw, presumably torn from the rest of its body by a bear, wolverine, or T-Rex.

Our climb was rewarded with an awesome view of the 13.6 mile long Mendenhall Glacier. The glacier has what is called a negative glacier mass balance, meaning its accumulation from snowfall is less than its ablation from melting and calving. (I challenge each of you to use ablation in a normal conversation today.) Put another way, the glacier is shrinking, not unlike most of the passengers on our cruise. In fact, it has retreated 1.75 miles since 1929. Our guide pointed out how far the glacier extended when he was a kid as compared to where it is now.

I appreciated that our guide didn’t launch into a guilt-inducing lecture on global warming and the degree to which mankind contributes to it. The celebs who preach the most about global warming tend to have the highest carbon footprints. That said, God gave us a beautiful planet and we should make reasonable efforts to conserve and protect it.

I also find it interesting how God can take something we consider bad—in this case, global warming and glacial retreat—and do something good with it. For example, the Mendenhall Glacier’s retreat has:

1. Created Mendenhall Lake, a nursery for salmon, cutthroat trout, and other fish.

2. Revealed 1,200-2,350-year-old trees and stumps, with roots and bark still attached. Scientists are able to study past ecosystems from a pre-glacial time.

After returning to the ship, we played a round of Trivial Pursuit and then Janet left for her Voice of the Ocean rehearsal. She learned that her competition includes a professional singer who performed at 138 gigs last year and a lady who has released 2 singing CDs. Even so, I doubt these competitors can steer a kayak as well as Jan.

We finished the evening with our second formal dinner, a Motown Musical Show, and a Marriage Match Game Show (similar to the Newlywed Game).

That latter show featured three couples who have been married 1, 20, and 50 years. The men were asked, “You arrive in Ketchikan and your wife realizes she forgot to pack her bra. She sends you into town to buy one for her with no further instructions. What size do you get?”

The youngest guy was closest, off by a single letter. The middle guy guessed a 42DD rather than the actual 40D. The oldest guy, married 50 years, guessed a 36B versus the actual, glacial 42DD. He lost the game, but received a $25 onboard credit for an eye exam.

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Alaska Land/Sea Cruise—Arctic Entry #9

Saturday, June 2nd

Last night at midnight, we ordered 2 chocolate chip cookies and a pot of coffee. This was partly because we wanted a snack, partly because “we could” and partly to commemorate one of my favorite cruise memories from about 20 years ago.

We were on a Disney cruise in the Caribbean, it was midnight, and Jason and Kyle (5 and 6 years old) were hungry. I introduced them to the room service menu, where they spotted “giant cookie” and I spotted coffee. A phone call and 10 minutes later, room service delivered a pizza-sized cookie, milk, and pot of coffee.

The boys were flabbergasted! The very idea that, with a simple phone call, a “free” giant cookie would show up at our door…at midnight… was more than they could bear.

With that memory firmly planted in his mind, Kyle has taken advantage of several midnight room service chicken Caesar salads this week. Not to be outdone, Landon has primed his muscles with midnight PB&J’s, Laci has gotten a chicken club with fries, and Caleb has gotten several cheeseburgers…all at midnight…all “for free.”

This morning, we headed into Skagway, our first port of call. The town, a popular touristy stop for cruise ships, was part of the setting for Jack London’s book The Call of the Wild. John Wayne’s film “North to Alaska” was filmed nearby.

The area around modern-day Skagway was inhabited by Tlingit people from prehistoric times. On at least two occasions, our traveling companion Lauren had to be reminded they were not Klingons, a fictional extraterrestrial humanoid warrior species from Star Trek. Honest mistake.

The Tlingit hunted the land, fished the waters, and became prosperous by trading with other coastal and interior people. I learned that the Tlingit people still inhabit the far northwest part of British Columbia and Canada’s southern Yukon Territory.

I also learned it’s inaccurate—“intellectually lazy” as our guide put it, to refer to these people as Eskimos. They are Tlingits. Eskimo is a French term for “those who wear snowshoes.” So, calling them Eskimos is like referring to Southerners as Comedores de Sémola de Maíz or “those who eat grits.” On second thought, that’s pretty accurate.

Skagway made its mark in more recent history in 1897 when gold was discovered in Canada’s Yukon Territory. People from across the globe raced to the Klondike hoping to become rich beyond their wildest dreams.

Thousands boarded ships, steamed up Alaska’s Inside Passage, and disembarked at Skagway or Dyea. Skagway’s waterfront was a chaotic scene of pitched tents, shouting stampeders, neighing horses, and barking dogs. Streets were quickly laid out and buildings and wharves constructed; the town even boasted of having electricity, running water, and telephone service in 1898.

From Skagway, stampeders traveled the 45-mile White Pass Trail, infamously nicknamed Dead Horse Trail because pack animals perished in large numbers. Of the estimated 100,000 prospectors who set out for the Klondike, only 30,000 made it and only a handful of those became rich. Most who became rich ultimately died in poverty, having squandered their wealth in other risky, get rich quick schemes.

Today’s real lesson, though, is about conquering fears. You see, my wife is terrified of water. While taking swimming lessons and spending considerable time in water was part of my childhood, the same cannot be said for Janet. Anything deeper than bath water makes her anxious, and the thought of being submerged in water makes her nauseous.

Thus, it took more than a little coaxing to convince her to go on today’s kayaking trip on Chilkoot Lake. I reminded her that:

1. This kayaking outfitter, over many years of operation, has never had a customer submerge in water, much less drown.

2. She would be wearing a life preserver.

3. Even if we were to tip over, the famed piranhas of Chilkoot Lake typically target the larger of the two kayakers…which would be me.

4. I had gone horseback riding.

We boarded a ferry for a scenic 40-minute ride to Haines. Glacier-fed waterfalls poured off the mountains before us. While Skagway and other ports of call are somewhat touristy towns, Haines seemed more like a typical Alaskan town. In addition to being known for its underwear, Haines has the highest concentration of bald eagles in the world between October and February. We saw several of them flying high in the sky.

From Haines, we took a bus to Chilkoot Lake, one of the best red salmon fishing locations in Alaska. But today wasn’t about salmon in the water, but Janet on it. My brave little warrior, with her heart racing, stepped into the back of our 2-person kayak. We pushed off with our fellow kayakers and Janet steered us around the beautiful lake. Our guide showed us the salmon spawning area and told us about wildlife, glaciers, and the Klingons who once inhabited the area.

I don’t know that Janet will take up scuba diving any time soon. But on one magical afternoon, on a glacier-fed lake in southeast Alaska, she decided to stare down her fears. She dug deep, boarded a kayak, and paddled her little heart out. Amidst the food, fun, and sightseeing of this amazing adventure, her guts in tackling her greatest fear might have the most lasting impact.

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Alaska Land/Sea Cruise—Arctic Entry #8

Friday, June 1st

This morning, we entered Glacier Bay National Park! Thirty National Parks down, thirty to go!

What an amazing place! The National Park Service describes the park like this:

“From the bottom of the deepest glacial fjord to the summit of its highest peak, Glacier Bay encompasses some of our continent’s most amazing scenery and wildness. It is a land reborn, a world returning to life, a living lesson in resilience. If we ever needed a place to intrigue and inspire us, this is it.” Well said.

As one of the largest protected biospheres in the world, it takes a specially trained captain to navigate its waters. So, a small boat approached and said pilot boarded and took control of the ship for our time in Glacier Bay.

There are many glacier viewing options—behind the tinted glass in the Horizons dining room, on your private balcony (if you want to splurge for a private balcony), with Rose on a raft as Jack sinks to the bottom of the ocean, or on one of the outside decks.

Armed with a camera with a 200x zoom lens, I spent much of the day on the forward upper deck. I spotted various wildlife, including bald eagles, a whale blowing his nose, 3 moose, and some seals, and took pictures of the various mountains and glaciers.

There is blue plexiglass along much of the ship’s perimeter. This is great for blocking wind and general viewing, but not for taking pictures, unless you use a gap between the panels (which limits your field of vision) or go above the panel (which is only possible if you’re over 6 feet tall).

I noticed several short, grey-haired, older women (who comprise roughly 45% of the passengers on this cruise) struggling to get a good photo behind the plexiglass barrier…so I offered my 74” assistance. Next thing you know, a line of short, sweet gray-haired ladies formed to hand me cameras to get glacier shots over the blue panel.

I then asked one lady if she knew how to take panoramic shots on her iPhone. She didn’t, so I raised her phone above the panel and took a rather stunning pano glacier shot. She looked at it and nearly pee’d herself with excitement. She had no idea her phone could do that. She showed the pano shot to her 4 or 5 traveling companions and they, too, pee’d themselves, right there on the deck…and then handed me their phones. Tomorrow night, we’re meeting in the Crooners Bar so I can teach them how to access email on their phones. Good times.

As we stood in awe before the 40-story high, mile wide, 21-mile long block of ice known as Margerie Glacier, we heard thunderous cracks of ice calving into the ice blue water. I don’t know why they call it calving because, from my angle, it looked nothing like a bovine birth.

The only thing that could break us away from this magnificent sight was our assigned dinner time. Specifically, tonight was a special seafood night, and we feasted on King crab legs, rainbow trout, and other sea dishes. For the 4th consecutive night, I got Creme Brûlée for dessert. Why? Because the stuff just melts in your mouth—a process known as calving.

After dinner, our traveling party assembled in the Princess Theater to hear comedian Jeff Burghart, who was hilarious. After the show, Janet and I retired to our cabin.

“So, what song are you going with for The Voice of the Ocean finals?” I asked.

“Dancing Queen,” she answered. “They want me to get the crowd into it.”

Quite fitting. After all, we’re having the time of our life… (all together now) Can’t wait to see that girl… watch that scene… I’m diggin’ my Dancing Queen.

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Memories Are All We Have Now

A camera hung around his neck and a large case drooped over his shoulder as my grandfather entered our duplex. The grandkids have always affectionately called him “Grandy,” but for the past few years I have referred to him only as “K.O.”—for Karl Owsly. His dear wife, “Granny,” followed closely behind him. After the customary hug and kiss greeting, she informed us of the pictures of our mailbox and front yard that K.O. had just taken. As she rattled off an apology for forcing Janet to cook dinner for them, she scanned the room in search of the next picture.

“Karl, there’s that cross-stitch picture that Edith made them for their wedding…get a picture of it.” K.O. licked his lips (as he has the habit of doing every three breaths) and snapped away. The next stop on our photo safari was the bedroom and Granny instantly eyed the quilt she had made for us. K.O. snapped a picture of it just as the order to do so was leaving her mouth. Her fingers traced a stitch on the quilt and she sighed as she explained how she had made a mistake on one of the seams. It amazed me that she continued to quilt with hands that had been crippled by arthritis.

Having run out of rooms to photograph, the ladies headed for the kitchen to discuss the pros and cons of frozen lima beans and K.O. and I sat down in the living room and he began to talk. There is something very special in the conversations I have with him now. We are both going through transitions in our lives and there is a lot on our minds. Whenever he talks, there is something inside of me that hangs on to every word he says.

There is a poem by Erma Bombeck taped on the inside of my Bible about the things that she would do differently if she had the chance to live her life over again. The verse that always seems to stay with me is the one about how she wished she had listened more to her grandfather ramble on about his youth. Well, I doubt I’ll ever have that same regret because I cherish every word that comes out of K.O.’s mouth.

He told me a lot of things that afternoon. Some of the stories I had heard before, and some were being told in a slightly different way. He told me about how my dad and Granny’s father used to argue over whether or not the South had won the Civil War. He told me about his invalid father and how he and his brothers had been given the task of supporting the family at an early age. I listened in amazement as he told me what his monthly pay was at his first job, and how Granny had been so excited when they moved to Ohio and had more money to buy groceries. I had heard most of the stories before, but this time there was something different in his voice. He emphasized certain points very carefully, as if he were telling the stories for the last time and wanted me to get every detail straight.

As he spoke to me that afternoon, I just sat there trying to soak up every last word. And then I asked about his camera. He told me he had gone through several rolls of film in the past few weeks on my wedding, his grandchildren, and the rest of the family. He told me that he probably wouldn’t be around much longer and he wanted pictures of everything. And then he began to teach me a lesson that I will never forget.

In words very similar to these, he said, “Steve, the thing that has made me the happiest in life is to feel that I am a productive person, that I am needed by someone for whatever reason. When I was young, I felt like the burdens of my family were on my shoulders and I was needed. As an adult, I worked for Goodyear and people depended on me. I have always been involved with the church, and I feel like at times I have made a difference. And ever since I have been retired, the need to be needed has been one of the driving forces in my life.” He licked his lips and went on. “To feel that I am doing something positive for my family means more to me than anything in the world—it’s what keeps me going. And I know that before long, I’ll be leaving this world to move on to a better place.”

As tears began to form in my eyes, he looked down at his camera and said, “Yea, Steve, memories are all we have anymore.” There was a silence in the air that was deafening. He looked deep into my eyes and said, “As long as these pictures are around, I hope you kids will remember Granny and me and all the fun times you had with us.”

There were so many things I wanted to say, but I just couldn’t form the words in my mouth. I wanted to thank him for all the talks we had had and all the encouragement he had given me for as long as I can remember. He has always been such an inspiration to me and the thought of him no longer being around was tearing me apart.

After a few minutes of silence, our wives called us for dinner and we were broken from our trance. The rest of the evening was filled with the usual conversations, but my mind was in a different place. After dinner, K.O. took a few more pictures and then we said our good-byes.

I believe my grandparents have several years of life left in them. And I’m sure there’ll be more lessons learned. And I suppose I’ll hear some of K.O.’s favorite old stories about my dad a time or two more.

But, one of these days, they will be gone. As much as that realization hurts, I can’t deny it. But as far as I’m concerned, my grandfather has nothing to worry about because that is when his most productive years will begin. Because every time I hear his name, or look at the gold watch that Goodyear gave him for 25 years of service, or see a picture of him, it will all come back to me. I will remember all of the fun times we had together playing miniature golf in Ohio, weathering a snowstorm in New Jersey at Christmas, and posing for a picture at my wedding. I’ll remember all of the lessons that he has taught me, and all of our experiences together will come to life again…and memories will be all that I need.

by Steve Johnson, June 4, 1988

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Alaska Land/Sea Cruise—Arctic Entry #7

Thursday, May 31

Decisions, decisions, decisions!

A nifty Princess phone app allows us to access the daily calendar of events, send messages to each other, and get general information.

The calendar of events offers a little something for everyone…

– Want to knit and knat? Join the Knitters and Knatters at the Crooners Bar.

– Want to relax and be entertained? Sit in the hot tub on the top deck while watching The Greatest Showman on the giant screen…or join the bridge or Texas Hold’Em tournaments.

– Want to waste money? Flush a $20 bill down your cabin commode or head to the casino.

– Want to learn something? Go to the Digital Photography Basics Seminar, the Fruit and Vegetable Carving Demonstration, the Detox for Health Energy Seminar, the Medi Spa Seminar: How to Look 10 Years Younger, or the Harmonica Class.

– Want to get in shape? Head to the Zumba class, walk the ship’s perimeter, lift weights, ride an interactive exercise bike, get a therapeutic massage, or go line dancing.

The above constitutes 1/3 of the available options…on just the first morning!

What caught my attention, though, was the Interdenominational Bible Study at 0830 hrs at the chapel. 4 Reasons:

1. I love studying God’s word.

2. I was curious as to what assortment of people might show up for such an event.

3. I’m on a hunt for interesting stories/people /ideas for a devotional book I’m writing.

4. I don’t Zumba.

Of the 2870 passengers and crew on board, 8 of us showed up for the Bible Study. A few minutes went by and nothing happened. Everyone just sat there. A few more minutes…still nothing. I glanced at my calendar and noticed the event said “Unhosted.” In other words, we’d been given a time, place, and purpose—an opportunity. But the rest was up to us.

Unable to stand another second of awkward silence, I turned around and asked the group if they wanted me to lead the discussion and they agreed. For the next 45 minutes, I led a discussion on my favorite passage—Ephesians 2:10. For the gist of what I covered, check out my blog entry from a couple years ago at…

https://www.bigsteveandliljan.com/masterpiece-on-a-mission/#comments

I appreciated the contributions from the class—people hailing from California, Georgia, Wisconsin, and the Philippines. In a world so full of division and political strife, it was encouraging to sit down with like-minded people from different countries, backgrounds, and faith communities and feast on God’s word together.

After watching an insightful movie/documentary with Janet on Alaska residents entitled The Spirit of Alaska, we made our way to the massive Horizons buffet. Fruit, cheeses, salad, meats, made-to-order omelettes, sushi, breads, vegetables, desserts…the list goes on and on!

At lunch, I learned that Janet and Tami had attended a shopping seminar…which is akin to Van Gogh attending a painting seminar. For $25, they received a booklet with coupons for free gifts on board and at various ports of call. For a moment, I thought about questioning how free gifts cost $25, but didn’t want to get thrown overboard.

While some of our gang played cards in the games lounge, I rode the exercise, soaked in a hot tub on the upper deck, and got an ice cream cone from the ice cream bar. I suppose exercising and then eating ice cream makes as much sense as paying $25 for free gifts.

At 1630 hrs, we gathered our cameras and binoculars and headed for the outside deck to take in the wonder and majesty of The Hubbard Glacier! I’d seen many pictures of it and other glaciers before, but to pull up beside it is stunning! This is why you might choose an Alaska cruise over something in the Caribbean. It was a sight I’ll never forget.

We reassembled for our group dinner on one of what they call “formal nights”…which for our group is loosely defined as no swimwear, chacos, or exposed belly buttons. After dinner, we took in a musical production called Encore, featuring singing, dancing, and an orchestra.

Speaking of singing, we noticed an event on the calendar called The Voice of the Oceans auditions. I told Janet, “You need to try out. This is your dream.”

“I’m thinking about it, but it makes me nervous. I’m not sure I’m good enough,” she replied.

“You’re very good, it’ll be fun, and besides, it’s up to the audience to decide who is good enough.”

After more encouragement from our group, Janet (aka contestant #4) nervously took the stage, dedicated her song to me (Awww!), and belted out Shania Twain’s Looks Like We Made It. She did a wonderful job, the audience cheered wildly, and she was voted into the finale! Go Janet! So now she’ll get a voice coach, head shots, and get to perform with an orchestra in front of all the passengers! That’s my girl!

As a guy who believes in living life to the fullest, taking chances, and pursuing crazy, bucket list dreams, I couldn’t be more proud of my wife. By setting her fears aside and taking the stage, she has already won!

And if she happens to win the whole thing, I’ve got a free gift in mind for her. It cost us $25.

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Alaska Land/Sea Cruise—Arctic Entry #6

Wednesday, May 30

Princess Cruises uses a luggage system where we set our bags out the night before, or in the early morning, and they transport them to the next hotel. Thus, it’s imperative to set out your next day clothes and any other items you’ll need during the day.

Kyle, exhausted after a long day of panning for gold and fly fishing, failed to do this. Thus, at 0900 hrs, our traveling party received the following group text from him… “I am helpless and nude in Room 2427, with the cleaning ladies pressing in on me. Big Johnson needs backup.”

Our traveling party, being the compassionate souls we are, responded with various and sundry items Kyle could choose from…

– “You’re welcome to my sunglasses.”

– “I’ve got a trash bag if that helps.”

– “I’ve got yesterday’s underwear and the ones I just put on this morning. Your choice.”

I was tempted to not respond. I mean, who doesn’t want to see Kyle travel by train across Alaska wearing only borrowed underwear, a garbage bag, and sunglasses?

Instead, I came to Kyle’s rescue, as I have done many times over the past quarter century. He ended up with my flannel shirt, pajama bottoms, and his brother-in-law’s barely used underwear. It was a good look for him.

We traveled 50 minutes by bus and then boarded the Alaskan WIlderness Rail in Talkeetna. With comfortable seats, leg room, food service, a massive window for sightseeing, and a table for 4 to play cards, train travel might be my favorite form of travel.

As we played 5 Crowns and Golf, the narrator pointed out points of interest along the way and a fair amount of Alaskan history. I enjoyed traveling through Elmendorf Air Force Base, a place where I would have loved to have been assigned during my Air Force career. We also travelled through Sarah Palin’s hometown of Wasilla.

The highlight for me was seeing about a dozen bald eagles flying above and to both sides of our rail car. As we’ve been saying throughout this trip, that’s not something you see everyday.

After traversing a long tunnel through the mountain, we arrived at Whittier and spotted our ship, The Coral Princess. For me, the next 45 minutes were arguably the most exciting of our trip so far. After a year of planning for and looking forward to this trip, it was so exciting to see and then board our sailing vessel!

After making our way through security, we located our rooms, dropped our stuff off, and then decided to go explore the ship from top to bottom. It is amazing! Multiple pools, hot tubs, theaters, and eating establishments. A gym, spa, library, game room, pizza bar, ice cream bar, massive buffet, and basketball court! We were like kids in a candy shop, marveling over the ship’s design and features.

After getting the lay of the land, we assembled in the Bourdeaux, our assigned dining room. How thrilling to be very hungry and have the waiter hand you a menu with multiple appetizers, entrees, and desserts. On top of that, it’s all you can eat. I resisted the urge to go too crazy on the first night, and went with one appetizer (spring rolls), one entree (prime rib with potato), and one dessert (ice cream sundae). It was all wonderful, especially the prime rib.

Our final stop of the night was one of the lounges, where we danced off a few calories and celebrated our first night on the ship.

Back in our cabin—a nice, simple interior room, I unpacked and did an accounting for all my belongings and luggage. The only things missing: my flannel shirt and pajama bottoms.

Ships ahoy!

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Alaska Land/Sea Cruise—Arctic Entry #5

Tuesday, May 29

I like that our 14-person traveling party doesn’t feel compelled to have identical itineraries. While we mostly do things together, one or more of us will occasionally break from the group.

Such was the case last night when Kyle, his father-in-law Tim, and I broke from the group and ate at Moose-Aka’s, a wonderful Eastern European restaurant across the street from our hotel. The schnitzel was amazing…second only to the butter schnitzel made by Annie in Speicher, Germany.

At the restaurant, we met a soldier (a former Army running back and linebacker) who was having dinner with his wife. Tim wasted no time in getting to know the guy and later picking up their tab, a very thoughtful gesture on Memorial Day. Kyle will end up a better man having married into the Genry family.

This morning we left by coach and headed south, once again spotting a few moose along the way. Our bus driver explained how Alaskan residents living in the bush, off the grid, utilize one of the last remaining flagstop trains. They walk from their remote homes to the train track and wave a flag for the train to stop. After going to town to resupply or perhaps to a favorite fishing spot, they get back on the train and once again signal when they want to get off near their homestead. Pretty neat system.

We arrived at the Mount McKinley Princess Wilderness Lodge, which was even better than our Denali hotel, due to its remoteness. There are no cheesy strip malls here—just pure Alaskan wilderness. We had lunch together at the hotel restaurant, where Kyle and I feasted on plates of Mac n Cheese with reindeer meat.

After lunch, Janet and I broke off from the main group. They went on a fly fishing/panning for gold excursion.

Janet and I opted for one of her passions—horseback riding. As is always the case, the guide/cowgirl looked me up and down and then selected the largest, slowest, most lethargic, nearest to death horse from the available options. I’m at peace with that. In fact, while horseback riding, I have only two goals:

1. Janet must have fun.

2. My privates must remain in my underwear, pressed against the saddle. This is achieved by holding the reins with my left hand, and cupping my privates with the right.

We had “fun” riding along sheer drop offs and up and down rolling hills. I was reprimanded twice for allowing my horse to eat, and once for allowing him to press his nose against the behind of the horse in front of me. I always forget to pull on the reigns, and instead sternly bark ineffective commands like “Stop eating!” and “Get your nose out of there!” Truth be told, I’m more of a walker than a rider.

Two other afternoon highlights:

1. We saw Denali! Yes, after much waiting and anticipation, the highest mountain in North America finally came into view. As this is something that only happens once or twice a week, we were grateful.

2. We made a short hike up to a treehouse! Not just any treehouse, but one built by/featured on Animal Planet’s Treehouse Masters. The deck provides a perfect platform to view Denali.

Our traveling companions returned late that evening with the following report…

– No fish caught…water was too high and fast. They did learn the basics of fly fishing though.

– Discovered a few nuggets of gold, worth about $100, according to their guide.

– Quality time spent with Alaskans.

– Most importantly, lots of fun had by all.

Tomorrow, we get to ride a train through the Alaskan wilderness, and then set sail on the high seas!

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Alaska Land/Sea Cruise—Arctic Entry #4

Monday, May 28

At the Princess Wilderness Lodge in Denali, you can (and should) sit on the back deck, facing west, and see the majestic, snow-covered mountains as far as the eye can see. We’ll call that the Denali National Park perspective. On the front porch, facing east, you can see a less glorious, touristy strip mall, offering t-shirts for $5.99. We’ll call that the Pigeon Forge on a bad day perspective.

Sometimes, it’s not where you stand, but which direction you face. Your orientation—your perspective—makes all the difference in the world.

That’s how two people, in the same place, might have two very different attitudes about their situation. They are focusing on different things.

If you are bummed about your current life situation, the solution might involve changing places—a new state, a new job, a new vacation spot, a new friend group. More often, I think the solution is about remaining in place, but changing your orientation. You rotate your perspective to see life’s snow-capped mountains—the blessings—rather than the cheesy strip malls.

After a hearty breakfast and cup of java at the Black Bear coffee house, we boarded the bus for a journey into Denali National Park. Crossing into the park, I checked off National Park #29 of 60. I doubt I’ll ever make it to all 60 (unless I commit to do so), but I sure have enjoyed the first 29.

Our bus tour covered just a fraction of the park’s main drive. Another tour, and adventurous back-country campers, go much deeper. But, boy, we sure saw a lot of wildlife in that stretch. The approximate tally was…

– 5 moose, including a calf

– 7 or 8 caribou wandering along and then crossing a river

– 1 arctic squirrel

– several ptarmigans, the state bird. The p is silent, as with pturkey, ptaco, and PTony Romo

– dozens of snow-shoed hares

And…drum roll…

A grizzly bear!!!

There are tour operators who travel in the park daily, over a period of years, and never see a grizzly. So we were thrilled to have one exit some brush and cross the road right next to our bus. Our mostly grey-haired bus riders scrambled over seats and each other, jockeying for the best viewing position.

Our guide said you can tell grizzly bear gender by the presence of offspring/cubs (if cubs, female), visibility of sex organ (if visible, male), and urination (if standing facing tree, male; if politely seated, female). So, in that regard, they’re much like humans.

Our tour including a couple of earnest, if underwhelming, presentations at stops along the way. We learned living history at the Savage Cabin and local native culture at Primrose Ridge. My lack of appreciation was partly due to being distracted by:

1. The presence of snow-shoed hares darting around. Or, as Kyle’s mother-in-law Tami calls them, Fuzzy Hares.

2. The presence of a very juvenile but quite hilarious fart app on my phone, which I may or may not have activated from the back of the crowd, much to my wife’s dismay.

At Primrose Ridge, our guide invited us to face Denali, the mountain formerly known as McKinley. Unfortunately, cloud cover precluded us from seeing the highest mountain peak in North America. Thus, we were staring at a giant cloud. That perspective, had I adopted it, could have been a bummer.

Instead, I chose to change my orientation and focus on my amazing traveling companions, a rare grizzly bear sighting, and the other wildlife and mountains we had seen. God made all these people, these views, and this wildlife, for us to enjoy…and through them, to see Him.

That made me joyful and grateful—the by-products of choosing a better perspective.

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