Summary: We loved the spacious, wooded, quiet campsites and the close proximity to Natchez. This state park must be especially appealing to fishermen and hunters.
Recreation/Amenities:3.8
Freshwater fishing and a boat launch, playground, nature trail, picnic area/shelter, and disc golf. The park also has about 2.5 miles of logging roads in the hunting area where horseback riding is allowed (except during hunts). This rule is designed to keep you and your horse from getting shot. I think it’s a good rule.
Hookups & Connectivity:3.5 – electric and water, with dump station. Laundry facilities. No sewer or Wi-Fi at site.
Local Vicinity Things to Do: 4.3 –
Antebellum homes, Emerald Mound, and the Grand Village of the Natchez Indians can be visited in nearby Natchez. There are also golf courses, historic Jefferson College, Homochitto National Forest, and the Natchez Trace Parkway. There are several special events, including the Great Mississippi Balloon Race in October and Christmas in Natchez in December.
Fire Starter
Cleanliness:4.3 – Solid. No major issues.
Intangibles:4.2 –
Pros – The largest bass in Mississippi history, an 18.15 pound largemouth, was caught in Natchez lake in 1992. For hunters, deer and turkey hunts appear to be popular activities in the park. The $18/night + tax RV camping fee is very reasonable.
Cons – Aside from a short nature trail, there are no real hiking trails. That’s kind of a bummer for hiking nuts like us.
“I choose you and I’ll choose you. Over and over and over without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat I’ll keep choosing you.” – Unknown
September 24, 2015 – Day 26 – Searcy, Arkansas
We left Petit Jean State Park and traveled east to Harding University in Searcy. I was there just long enough to hook up the RV, hug Kyle’s neck and have lunch. I then departed in the Fit for a quick trip to Tullahoma, TN, to finish up my root canal. Lil Jan stayed behind to visit with Kyle, Laci, and their friends.
September 25, 2015 – Day 27 – Searcy, Arkansas
Lil Jan got to hear Kyle speak in chapel this morning, which is a cool thing for a parent to get to do. Meanwhile, with my troubled tooth fixed, I returned to Searcy that evening and was greeted by Kyle, Laci and twelve of their friends hanging out in our RV! We had cake and ice cream to celebrate Kyle’s 22nd birthday. Both of our sons have made such great Christian friends at Harding. We love being around them. We went to bed that night with great anticipation about tomorrow’s agenda. The plan was for us to go hiking with Kyle and Laci. And now, as Paul Harvey would say, the rest of the story…
September 26, 2015 – Day 28 – Sugarloaf Mountain, Arkansas
On the morning of September 26th, 2015, Steven Kyle Johnson proposed to Hannah Laci Genry atop Sugarloaf Mountain in Arkansas. The events leading up to, during, and after the proposal can best be told by those who were there. Here, then, is the definitive oral history of #kylelaciengagement, precursor of #downtheaislewithkyle.
Setting the Stage …
Mark Adams, former Youth Minister, Old Hickory Church of Christ: I’ll start. It’s my fault. There…I said it. I hired them both as youth interns, and clearly laid out the rules.
Laci: There were rules?
Mark: One of those rules was “no dating the other intern”…but I failed to include “no marrying the other intern”. My bad…this whole thing’s on me.
Mark… the “Supervisor”
Kyle: My initial plan was to date every girl in Zeta Rho, alphabetically.
Rachel, Jason’s wife: How shallow.
Options, options, options
Kyle: I started with A… Abbie Stumne. I had feelings for Abbie going back to 3rd grade. Then she went off and got married. Whatever.
Abbie: Kyle Johnston? I vaguely remember him.
Abbie, or Not Abbie, That is the Question
Kyle: I moved on to the B’s…Bissell, Olivia. Great potential, but she dumped me and suggested I consider becoming a eunuch in a remote colony off the coast of Greece. So I did.
Brotherhood of Eunuchs
Ken Bissell, Olivia’s Dad: I insisted Olivia break up with Kyle. Before anyone else, I knew that he would end up with Olivia’s best friend, Laci. It was pre-destined, and I wasn’t going to let my own daughter get in the way of destiny.
Over to you…
Olivia: Kyle was cute and all, but the long neck was a showstopper. His kids will look like E.T., and I wanted no part of that. I felt bad, but I had to cut him loose.
Laci: I’d like to say something here…
Kyle: Next up was C…Chelese. The attraction there was real, and I thought it was mutual. But she wanted to keep it platonic. Letter by letter, girl by girl, the pattern of rejection continued.
Decisions, Decisions
Kyle: Rejection after rejection, I worked my way through the Zeta Rho alphabet. Time seemed to be running out. Then I got a break. While hanging out at the Caf, I developed a bit of a crush on Mrs. Norma. She was always so kind and nurturing to me. Between her and the smell of vegetables, I felt at home in the Caf.
Mrs. Norma, Harding Caf: Kyle was like a son to me. More like a distant stepson from a 3rd marriage who you never really got close to…but a son nonetheless.
Kyle: My desperation continued. I was determined to find love somewhere.
Awkward IAwkward II
Jason: We worried about Kyle’s downward spiral. It seemed only a matter of time that he would hit rock bottom…
Rock Bottom
Kyle: I was in a bad place. Sometimes I’d wake up with no clue where I was…
The Courtship…
Mark: Kyle clearly was in a desperate place, so I brought him on as a youth intern.
Kyle: Game changer. I even convinced him to also hire my “friend”, Laci Genry.
Mark: Rules for interns are critical, and I left out an obvious one… “Do not make dance videos together.” That’s where the first sparks occurred. This one’s on me, folks. It happened on my watch. I felt so bad about it I moved to south Texas and went into hiding near the border.
Jim Oliver, elder, Old Hickory Church of Christ: They made dance videos?
Tami, Laci’s mom: Laci didn’t date much in high school. She mainly did sign language and stared at couches. We just assumed she would return home and live with us after college.
Can I just say one thing about couches?
Dr. Youngblood, Harding faculty: Θέλεις να χορέψεις μαζί μου; (thélis na horépsis mazí mu?)
Laci: What was that?
Caleb, Laci’s brother: Mom’s right…Laci didn’t date much. A lot of guys were scared of her. I’m not sure why.
Nuff Said
Tim, Laci’s dad: A lot of people thought she was home-schooled. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Kyle: Sure there were feelings for Laci during the intern dance videos. I felt her knee hit my back as she tried to somersault me. Those feelings were real.
Laci: Can I just make one point?
Janet, Kyle’s mom: When Kyle first told us he had feelings for Laci, I asked, “Don’t you mean Abbie?”
Steve, Kyle’s dad: My first thought was, “Who’s Laci?” Then he showed me the dance videos. I wept.
“I really like her, mom”
Kyle: It seems immature now, but I asked the Harding CAB to sponsor a contest and award a prize for the video with the best pickup lines. I didn’t want the prize…I just wanted to practice my pickup lines on Laci.
Laci: We won the contest. I had no clue Kyle was actually trying to ask me out.
The Ring…
Tim: It all happened so fast. He started coming home with Laci. We considered moving.
Kyle Creepily Stalks the Family
Tami: When she told me how she felt about Kyle, I immediately reserved the wedding venue, and began crocheting the bridesmaids’ dresses.
Steve: Kyle was reluctant to buy an engagement ring. He said it would cost money. That’s something people don’t think about.
Larry Alexander, Challenge Point Director: I have tried to mentor Kyle by leading him on several wilderness hikes. One night he secretly pooped right on the trail, violating “Leave no Trace” principles and common human decency. I’m not sure a guy who would do that should be getting engaged, much less married.
Janet: I immediately started texting Tami about the rehearsal dinner and what they should name our first grandbaby. These were such exciting times!
Laci: As far as the ring is concerned…
Jason: He called me for ring advice. I suggested a diamond ring. And a good shave. It felt good to be a part of the process and help my little brother.
Whoa!
Colby, Laci’s brother: I found out this Kyle guy was a Tennessee fan. 4.5 billion men on the planet, and she falls for a Tennessee fan? You’ve got to be kidding me. That’s not how we roll (tide) in this family. Get it?
Tami: When I heard Kyle was shopping for a ring, I was so thankful that I had already purchased the wedding flowers and decorations. I hope the roses keep.
Olivia: When I heard he was shopping for a ring, I sent him a letter, certified mail. My dad paid the postage. I wrote, “Dear Kyle, You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me…But we are never ever ever getting back together.”
Tim: Kyle called me to get my permission. Again and again. Finally, after dozens of calls, I suggested that together we search the Scriptures for guidance. I took him to 1 Corinthians 7:1, which reads, “It is good for a man not to marry.” As a Bible major, I thought Kyle would understand the passage and take it to heart.
Jason: Things were getting serious between them. I said to myself, “Does she know about his chest?” It’s not even. If he were a woman, he’d wear two different cup sizes. On their wedding night, I didn’t want her to see his chest and say, “Whoa, what’s up with that?”
The Approach to Sugarloaf Mountain
Landon, Laci’s brother: The big day had finally arrived. We were going to climb Sugarloaf Mountain and hide in the trees to watch the proposal. As the most physically gifted member of the engagement party, I put the team on my back and took them all to the top.
Janet: I struggled with what to wear on engagement day. Spandex pants with a t-shirt, or an entire fluorescent unitard. This day was mostly about them, but also about me…I AM the mother of the groom!
Spandex marks the spot
Landon: I wore spandex to basketball practice one time and it itched horribly. That wasn’t an option for me. Instead I wore a tank top to show off my muscles.
Dr. Youngblood: I’ve never worn spandex.
Jason: Honestly, I wasn’t sure about mom’s spandex pants. They looked spray-painted on. I’m not even sure they are allowed on Sugarloaf.
Kyle: Despite mom’s bright spandex pants, it was a beautiful day to climb a mountain and get engaged. At each level of rock formation, I extended my neck to look for the next foothold.
Laci: Whenever I hike or exercise, I think about the creepy skeleton inside of my body, mimicking my every move. Does that bother anyone else?
Mandy, Steve’s former dog: I wasn’t able to do the hike…for obvious reasons.
Dr. McLarty, Harding President: I wasn’t on the hike either. But I’d like to add that of all the SA Presidents we’ve had at Harding, Kyle is the most recent.
Steve: I’m not big on heights, but I focused on two things: the summit, and the glowing spandex that called out to me like a beacon in the night.
Summiting Sugarloaf
Cody Sabando, Steve’s former student: I was the first to summit. I had no idea what was going on. I’m just a freshman at Harding.
Steve: Cody, you’re not part of the engagement party. Why are you on this blog?
Cody: The first thing I noticed was a group of mostly older looking people crawling out from the highest rock. They were breathing heavily. They looked like the zombies from Michael Jackson’s Thriller video.
Steve: Cody, get out of this oral history.
Jason: We were all so excited to summit and get to our hiding places behind the grassy knoll. Once there, I noticed Miss Tami sat down on a rock and began working on what appeared to be wedding invitations. Strangest thing.
Colby: As the designated cameraman, I zoomed my lens on the final rock near the summit, hoping to get a shot of Kyle and Laci emerging. Instead, I saw a woman who appeared to be dragging a parachute.
Rachel: It was Janet in her spandex. I told Colby to look away.
Laci: As we summited the mountain, I had my suspicions that today might be the day. Kyle had more back sweat than usual. Do they make deodorant for the back?
Kyle: I went through my final mental checklist. Get her off to the side with the pretty view. Pull out the Bible with “Laci Johnson” engraved on it. Pull out the ring. Say the right things. Have her sign the pre-nup. Be ready with a rebuttal in case she says “No”.
Tim: I had secretly highlighted in the Bible some passages for Kyle to consider. One was Proverbs 21:9, which reads, “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Yes, this was my version of a hail-Mary pass.
Colby: Summiting was so exhilarating! I celebrated with a freestanding backflip and went straight into a split. My little sister’s life was about to change!
The Proposal
Kyle: I took her hand and looked deep into her eyes. This was the woman of my dreams…the woman I love. I want to spend the rest of my life with her and make dance videos and children.
Laci: As he took my hand and looked into my eyes, I noticed his face was red and puffy…kind of like an Oompa Loompa.
Kevin Fields, Kyle’s host dad, near St Louis: I wasn’t invited to this event…apparently because a host dad is “not family”. Whatever. I have nothing to add.
Jason: I was concerned that Kyle might vomit. He vomits under stress. He has vomited after several 5K races, including all of the Fishhawk Turkey Trots. Race organizers even considered changing the name to the Turkey Vomits.
Looking Out for His Brother Since the Early 90s
Kyle: I was nervous, all right, but I said all the things I wanted to say. Most of it I got from Hallmark cards. I read some Scripture and told her I was ready for our stories to merge. I told her she didn’t have to give up being a Crimson Tide fan…God’s grace would cover that.
Jason: Kyle vomited when Tony Romo got injured and when Olivia dumped him. Whether Laci says, “Yes” or “No”, there’s a decent chance he’s going to vomit on Sugarloaf. Zoom in, Colby.
Laci: Honestly, I don’t remember what he said. It all happened so fast. He looked sweet, and sincere, and puffy. I thought he was going to pass out.
Janet: I missed most of it. My spandex got caught on a live oak and by the time I realized it, I had catapulted like a slingshot across the summit.
Tami: I missed most of it too. I was writing a 7-page text to Jenny Diamond to get her suggestions on wedding music.
Tim: I saw the whole thing. As Kyle took a knee, I began throwing little pebbles at them, hoping to throw him off his game. There’s nothing I could do to stop this. I blame Mark Adams. In fact, we all do.
On the Summit
Colby: I got some great shots, although Kyle’s neck is extended on some of them and he appears to be eating leaves from a tree.
Kyle: I asked her to be my wife. I’m all in on this girl.
Laci: I hesitated. Do I really want to do this? His parents live in a Wal-Mart parking lot.
Carolina Adams, Mark’s wife: They’re gypsies, I tell ya.
Kyle: She hesitated. I asked again, with all the emotion an ENTJ can muster. She could sense the desperation in my voice. There was a no-return policy on the ring.
Laci: I felt bad for him. I said yes. The ring is beautiful. A new sectional sofa can’t be far behind.
Landon: I’m not just losing a sister; I’m gaining a 3rd brother. I need a hug.
Colby: She appeared to say, “Yes”. It was so touching. Tears ran down my leg.
The Aftermath
Caleb: The descent was easier than we expected. We were able to stretch out one of Miss Janet’s pant legs and rappel down the mountain.
They love their sister!
Kyle: I still can’t believe she said, “Yes”. I’m the luckiest man on the face of the planet.
Laci: I still can’t believe I said, “Yes”. He’s the luckiest guy on the face of the planet.
Olivia & Ken, in unison, with feeling: “Never ever ever ever getting back together.”
The Moment of Truth
Tim: She said, “Yes”? Seriously? Can we check the audio on that?
Chelese: He was interested in me? I so would have gone for that. Call me, Kyle.
Kyle: Once the word got out that we were engaged, the advice started coming in…
Dr. Cox, Harding faculty: In Daur, China, there is a tradition that requires engaged couples to dissect a chicken and examine its liver. If the liver is healthy, the couple can set a date. If not, they can’t plan their nuptials until they find one that is. Kyle and Laci set a date without dissecting a chicken. This is problematic.
Brett Taylor, Kyle’s friend: I’m so happy for them. I only hope that some day they can be half as close as Kyle and I are.
Ocean Bromance
Sue Davenport, giraffe exhibit curator, Memphis Zoo: Kyle visits here often. He and Laci will always have a home here at the exhibit.
Tami: I went ahead and scheduled a bridal tea, with crumpets.
Mrs. Norma, Harding Caf: I’m happy for them, but even happier to know he loved me first. Truth be told, I think he liked the smell of canned green beans as he approached the Caf. He likes them “greased and highly flavored.”
Alex Traughber, Kyle’s friend: So then, Chelese is still on the market? Hmmm.
Landon: Going down the mountain, I glanced down at my ripped, sweaty biceps. We all did.
The Descent
Jason: I can’t believe Kyle didn’t vomit. After she said, “Yes”, we decided to celebrate at a Mexican restaurant. I was certain he would vomit there.
La gran fiesta
Tami: This will be the most emotional wedding ever. Even the cake will be in tiers.
Caleb: Good one, mom.
Dr. McLarty: I’m not even sure this engagement is legit. We have a strict “3 swings and a ring” policy at Harding. I’m told Kyle and Laci had one swing at most. My guys are checking the campus video archives.
Ken Bissell: I called it first! Are we all in agreement that I should be best man?
Mark Adams: God brought them together. I was just the facilitator. Do I expect most of the credit? Sure. Should they name their first child after me? Absolutely.
Janet and Tami (in unison): Bring on some grandbabies!
So there you have it…the definitive account of Laci and Kyle’s Sugarloaf Mountain engagement from those who were there.
I Like Their Chances
All kidding aside, Lil Jan and I are absolutely thrilled that God brought these two young people together. Laci is an amazing young Christian lady and will make a great addition to the Johnson family. And we love how the Genry’s have opened a spot for Kyle in their family. We are looking forward to seeing Kyle and Laci grow together, serve together, and perhaps even make an occasional dance video together.
Big Steve
It Does Have a Ring to ItRing Ceremony Celebration
Summary: This beautiful wooded park in central Arkansas features great hiking, spacious campsites, incredible rock formations, and rustic stone and log structures built by the Civilian Conservation Corps in the 1930s.
Cedar Creek Canyon Falls
History: Petit Jean, according to legend, was a young 18th century French woman. When she learned that her fiancé planned to explore the Louisiana Territory, she cut her hair, disguised herself as a boy, and found a position as a cabin boy. When the expedition reached this area, Petit Jean (or “Little John” as she was known on ship), became seriously ill. On her deathbed, she revealed herself to her fiancé who, channeling his inner Usher, said, “Lil Jon!” (I added that to the legend.) She died and was buried on the mountain under the name “Little John”, as she had been known by on the ship.
Name the State
Recreation/Amenities:4.6
The park features a variety of lodging options for its visitors:
RV or tent camping at 127 campsites;
The 24-room historic Mather Lodge on the edge of a bluff of a deep, forested canyon;
32 rustic cabins, some with fireplaces and some lakeside
The park offers great hiking options, including the somewhat challenging Cedar Creek Canyon hike that leads to a 95-foot waterfall. Due to the lack of rain, the waterfall was more of a trickle, but still beautiful. Rock climbers and geology lovers should check out Bear Cave, Rock House Cave, the Grotto, Turtle Rocks, Carpet Rocks, and Natural Bridge.
Lil Jan, Big Rock
Other recreation options include a lodge swimming pool, canoeing and fishing on the 100-acre Lake Bailey, picnicking, bike trails, tennis and basketball courts, and playgrounds. There is also a restaurant at the lodge, a visitor’s center, and a gift shop.
Poor Technique
Hookups & Connectivity:3.5 – electric and water, with dump station. No sewer or Wi-Fi at site.
Local Vicinity Things to Do: 3 –
The Museum of Automobiles is less than a mile away.
Cleanliness:4.3 – Solid. No major issues.
Cedar Creek Canyon Lookout
Intangibles:4.4 –
Pros – The campsites are some of the best we’ve seen, with lots of mature trees and good spacing. For those not able to hike down into the canyon to see the waterfall, there is a handicap-accessible observation tower on the bluff. A giant stick insect was hanging out on our RV when we returned from hiking.
Had He Plugged Into the Outlet…Civilization Would’ve Been Doomed
Cons – Two bees in Cedar Creek Canyon stung me. Be careful out there. Also, the park is named after a French transgender cabin boy, the thought of which may be upsetting to younger campers.
Big Steve
We named it “Cairn Larsen”Name the Indian Artifact
Summary: This small but beautiful state park is best known for its caves, and for good reason. Although off the beaten path, the 16 caves linked by 6 miles of trails make this park a spelunker’s delight.
Campsite 16Peaceful Neighborhood
Recreation/Amenities:4 – The 16 caves are the most of any state park in Iowa. They range from very accessible (walk-ways, lights, etc.) to extremely difficult. Case in point: back in 2012, two 20-year-old experienced spelunkers got wedged in a cold, narrow passage of Wye cave. It took first responders four hours to get her out and twenty hours to free him. Thankfully, they survived. A link to their story is at the bottom of this blog. Before entering the caves, visitors must receive training (a short speech) on White Noise Syndrome that has killed more than 5.7 million bats in 25 states. Basically, a fungus grows on hibernating bats, so spelunkers have to take precautions like wiping off the bottoms of their shoes before entering or exiting the cave system. Unrelated to the caves, the park also has several beautiful spots for picnics and relaxing in nature.
Hookups & Connectivity:3 – electric only, with dump station. Water source is located in the camping area, but not at individual campsites. No Wi-Fi.
Big Steve tracks Injun Joe
Local Vicinity Things to Do: 3 – Aside from the small town of Maquoketa a few miles away, we didn’t notice much to do in the local vicinity. It is, however, a good central location from which to do day trips to the Amana Colonies, Dyersville, and Dubuque.
Cleanliness:4 – well-maintained campsite, facilities, and trails. The bathhouse was average/acceptable. The National Weather Service radio broadcast plays rather loudly, 24/7, next to the showers…a good way to keep campers aware of impending storms. (In good weather, you simply have to find the joy in being loudly and repeatedly reminded, while showering, of the forecasted barometric pressure in nearby Spragueville and Oxford Mills.)
Big Steve discovers portal to Narnia
Intangibles:4.2–
Pros –
Again, the quality, quantity, and varying intensity of the park’s cave system are what set it apart. If you plan on spelunking, be sure to bring a change of clothes/shoes and a headlamp. Also be sure to visit the ice cave where, in a single step into the cave, the temperature drops about 30 degrees. There are tall, mature trees throughout the park and deer roam freely. Park entrance is free and campsites were just $18/night. The sites are close together, but we were almost the only ones there so that wasn’t an issue. I’m told during weekends in the summer, the place is packed.
Going down?
Cons – Due to inconsiderate souvenir hunters, there are no stalactites or stalagmites inside the caves. My only real complaint, though, is with the terrible campground/hiking map. It was the worst, least helpful one that we’ve come across. We would come to 2- or 3-way forks in a hiking trail with no marker as to which trail went which way. Other trails were marked with signs, but there was no indication of them on the map. We began guessing where we were and started following a series of unmarked trails that led to an intense hike up a hill to a ridge. Yes, for the first time in our many hikes, we were lost. Tired of guessing, I called the park office (no answer, and it cost me a man chip). I left a message and my number stating that we were out hiking and seemed to be lost, and they never called back. I finally resorted to using my iPhone compass to determine the likely direction of park headquarters, and we eventually found our way back. They need to invest in more signs and a better map to make navigating the caves and trails a little easier. I would also add that a follow-up call checking on our status would have been a considerate thing to do.
Aside from getting lost, we enjoyed the caves and recommend this state park in the middle of Iowa.
“But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds of the air, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish of the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the LORD has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.” – Job 12:7-10
Yes, “the hand of the LORD has done this”! In fact, sometimes God just smacks me upside the head with the awesomeness of His creation. This tends to happen while I’m hiking. Most recently, it happened at Frontenac State Park while solo hiking through the forest as the morning sun broke through the trees. I had to just stop and thank God for this gift, and for allowing Lil Jan and me the privilege to be able to travel the country during this special time in our lives. As for Frontenac State Park, here’s our review…
Dates: August 25-26, 2015
Campsite: 14E
Overall Score: 3.88 (out of 5)
Summary: Although this is a relatively small state park, it has a wide variety of beautiful terrains. There are river bluffs, forests, and hilly prairies to hike, and one of the most scenic picnic areas we’ve come across. The park has a secluded and peaceful feel to it, which is a good thing.
Did I mention God is awesome?
Recreation/Amenities:4.0 – 20+ miles of great and varied hiking trails, ranging from easy/scenic (along the bluff) to difficult (going down the 430+ foot bluff with switchbacks from In Yan Teopa rock to the river). Snowshoeing and cross-country skiing are available in the winter.
In Yan Teopa (Rock with Opening)
Hookups & Connectivity:3.5 – electric only, with dump station. Water source is located in the camping area, but not at individual campsites. Only 19 electric sites, which may not meet demand on holiday weekends and other high volume times.
Local Vicinity Things to Do: 3.5 – Canoe and kayak rentals are available at nearby Lake Pepin. Of course, the Great River Road is nearby. From the park, I’d recommend heading north to Red Wing (historic, w/ some shopping), crossing over into Wisconsin and then following the Great River Road north to the historic towns of Prescott and Hastings.
View from bluffs, along hiking trail
Cleanliness:4.2 – well-maintained campsite, facilities, and trails.
Intangibles:4.2 –
Pros – Be sure to check out the great view of the Mississippi River (at this section, it’s known as Lake Pepin) from the bluffs and especially at the picnic area. Good chance of seeing a bald eagle during the winter months. Friendly staff. $36/night, which includes a $5 park entrance fee and an $8 charge for an electric site.
View of Lake Pepin (Mississippi River) from Picnic Area
Cons – I would be scared to hike with children (or someone as graceful as Lil Jan) along parts of the bluff, unless they were on a leash. The drop off is steep and unforgiving. Campsites were wooded/scenic, but also pretty close together. It would be difficult to park a big RV given the campground layout—one of the reasons we went with a somewhat smaller (32’) Class-A. There’s no place to cool off (pool, creek, etc.), aside from the Mississippi River…and that may not be advisable. The hiking trail map and signage could have been a little better.
We enjoyed our time at Frontenac State Park. Time to say farewell to Minnesota and head back to the Great River Road on the Wisconsin side.
Although Lil Jan and I have visited some amazing places all over the world, some of our fondest memories happened in Nashville, Tennessee…Music City USA. It was in Nashville where we first laid eyes on each other, had our first date, and shared our first kiss. It was in Nashville where we fell in love, graduated from college, got married, and rented our first little duplex. We recently decided to return there to reminisce on some old memories and make a few new ones.
First on our agenda was a visit to our alma mater, Lipscomb University. As we strolled along the campus, we walked near what used to be an open field near the southeast corner of campus. It was on that field, in the fall of 1984, that the incoming freshmen class gathered for the freshmen mixer. Former Lipscomb President Willard Collins welcomed us to the university and, in his booming voice, invited us to enjoy the games and other festivities that evening. But he also gave us a warning. He said, “Be careful who you talk to tonight, because you might just meet your future mate.” (Sounds like a country song.) I laughed at that suggestion, not realizing that about 20 minutes later I would meet my future mate.
One of the icebreaker games that evening involved music being played while the entire freshmen class walked around the giant field. When the music stopped, the freshmen guys took a knee and each of the ladies would rush to find a guy’s knee to sit on. You then had 30 seconds to tell the other person your name, major, and hometown. As luck, fate, or perhaps Divine Providence would have it, Lil Janet Climer sat down on my knee and we shared our information. My recollection is that she instantly fell in love with me, although she maintains that by the end of the night, she simply thought I was obnoxious. Whatever. After the mixer ended, we ended up going with a group of new friends to McDonald’s. We both ended up in that group because my roommate, Kurt, was from her hometown. When Kurt and my other two suitemates got back to our dorm room later that evening, we pulled out our freshmen pictorial directories and one of us (probably me) suggested we go through it and circle ten girls that we potentially would marry some day. As I scanned the pictures and descriptions, I came across Janet Climer, the cute young lady from Summitville, Tennessee who had a charming southern accent and had spent 30 seconds on my knee earlier in the evening. Without hesitation, I circled her picture. A few months later I asked her out on a date, and randomly picked a dollar movie, because money was tight. The movie was Purple Rain, a disastrous choice. (Sorry, honey… “I never meant to cause you any problems…I never meant to cause you any pain…”). We somehow survived that date and have been dating ever since.
After strolling and reminiscing around Lipscomb, it was time to make our way to downtown Nashville. Our first stop was Centennial Park, home of the full-size replica of the Greek Parthenon. It’s a beautiful park featuring lakes, fountains, flowers, and walking paths. On these hallowed grounds, 28 years ago, we took our relationship to a whole new level. Asking someone to marry you is an enormous, life-changing, deal. I wanted it to be special and Centennial Park seemed like a special place to make it happen. I also wanted a record of what happened…some sort of proof in case she ever denied saying yes to the obnoxious Air Force kid from Tucson, Arizona. So I talked to my roommate, Dave Esslinger, and the conversation went something like this…
Dave: “Why don’t you just have me take some pictures of you proposing to her?”
Me: “Because I want it to be a surprise. If she sees you, especially with a camera, she’ll know something’s up.”
Dave: “No worries. I’ll go under cover. She’ll never see me.”
Me: “I don’t know, it seems kind of risky.”
Dave: “Trust me, you guys will never see me. It will be like I don’t exist. But I’ll get some great photos.”
Me: “Well, alright, but we better not see you. That would ruin everything.”
Dave: “I got this. You just do your part and don’t worry about me.”
With the engagement ring in my pocket, I picked up Janet from her dorm, and we headed toward Centennial Park. As we drove into nearby Green Hills in Nashville, we decided to go through the Wendy’s drive-through to get a bite to eat (because what could be a more romantic meal prior to a proposal than Wendy’s?). As I sat in the queue to pay the lady at the window, I looked in my rear-view window and saw…DAVE!!! Yes, “Mr. Invisible Man”, “Mr. You’ll Never See Me” was in the car behind us, slumped down, head barely visible above the steering wheel, with a ball cap pulled down to partially shield his face. He was tailing us! In a Wendy’s drive-through! Unacceptable! I tried to remain calm and not draw Janet’s attention to the situation. Fortunately, she was pretty focused on her Frosty.
The Mighty Parthenon (replica)
We pulled onto Hillsboro Pike and headed toward Centennial Park. I sped up, hoping to put some distance between Dave and us. No such luck. The right lane slowed, and sure enough, Dave went zooming by in the left lane, still slumped down, ball cap pulled down to his eyes. He looked like a Mario Kart character that had been rejected early in the design process. My heart nearly stopped, as I was certain Janet would notice him and suspect something. Fortunately, she never looked his way. We made it to Centennial Park and found a nice shady place by the water with a great view of the mighty Parthenon. We laid down on a blanket, talked about life, and for just a moment I forgot that Dave was somewhere out there on the prowl. I finally got up the nerve to pop the question. I asked her what she was thinking about. She said, “not much, just enjoying being here…what are you thinking about?” I slowly pulled the ring from my pocket, placed it before her, cleared my throat, and said, “I was wondering how great it would be for you to be my wife. Will you marry me?” She reached towards her face, fell back on the blanket, and said, “Yes! Yes!” As we embraced and soaked in the beauty of the moment, our bliss was interrupted by a middle-aged man walking by. He got our attention and said, “Excuse me. I hate to bother you. But there’s a man in a trench coat and ball cap behind a tree over there taking pictures of you.” Dave! Mr. Invisible! Well, at least he made good on his promise. We had our photographic evidence (now located in a scrapbook in a box in a condo in Florida), and by some small miracle, Janet never noticed him stalking us.
Centennial Park
So there we were, in 2015, walking those same hallowed grounds. Unfortunately, we couldn’t come to any agreement on the exact spot where I proposed. In hindsight, I should have asked the city of Nashville to erect a monument there. Or maybe Dave could have rented a spy plane and taken some aerial photos. After strolling around some more, we headed to Hattie B’s Hot Chicken for lunch. Wow! Hot chicken! Where have you been all my life? Public service announcement: go there and get yourself some hot chicken and thank me later. We waited in line outside in the heat for 30 minutes to get in, but it was worth the wait. The hot chicken was…HOT! I had sweat beads on my forehead and tears in my eyes before I even got to the pimento mac n cheese. (That, too, sounds like a country song.)
Hot Chicken! That’s what I’m talkin’ bout
After finishing our meal and sharing a banana pudding, we headed toward Nashville’s country music district. We strolled passed the Ryman auditorium and ducked into Tootsies Orchid Lounge, the famous watering hole. Country singers like Willie Nelson, Loretta Lynn, and Waylon Jennings have all visited or performed at Tootsies. In fact, Willie Nelson got his first songwriting job after singing there. Songs have been written about it, and movies (including “Coal Miner’s Daughter”) have been filmed there. We went in to see what all the fuss was about, but mainly because I had to pee. The place was packed to max capacity, with an aspiring country band jamming on the small stage by the front door. I had to turn sideways and shuffle sideways through a gauntlet of drinking, singing, and partying country fans and tourists. This is how diseases are passed. I somehow negotiated my way to the bathroom, and took my place at the urinal next to a Cowboy with dip in his mouth and a bit of a scowl on his face. For some unexplained reason, I looked over at him, violating urinal protocol, especially at a country & western bar. Then, equally unexplainable, I felt the need to make small talk… “I’m here with my wife.” He didn’t speak…he simply nodded once, looked over his opposite shoulder, and turned and exited without flushing or washing his hands.
Tootsies…where Legends are born
Our next stop was the Country Music Hall of Fame, which turned out to be well worth the admission price and a great way to spend a couple of hours. We saw Elvis’ gold Cadillac, hundreds of exhibits, old footage of country music history, the original hand-written lyrics to country songs, and much more. We then walked across the Pedestrian Bridge for a great view of the waterfront and Titans stadium.
A Legend
On our way back toward the parking garage, I decided to surprise Janet with a short detour to our final stop…queue the Star Wars theme song…The Hermitage Hotel! Like Centennial Park, there are no monuments or historic markers devoted to us at The Hermitage…but there should be. Because on March 25, 1988, we spent our wedding night at the Hermitage! As we entered the lobby (in 2015), I was pleasantly surprised to see they had set out delicious homemade cookies and lemonade for us. Assuming these amenities were part of our original hotel room price from ’88, I helped myself to them. My plan was for us to spend several minutes reminiscing about our wedding night, but it was mostly a blur. We didn’t remember where we parked, our room number, or who made the first move (pretty sure it was me, though). As far as we can recall, we were alone and whatever happened in that room was a good thing. (Possible words to a country song?) At least it was good enough to celebrate in the lobby with cookies and lemonade 27 years later!
I can explain…
I’m thankful that Lil Janet Climer sat on my knee at the freshmen mixer, and that I circled her name in the freshmen yearbook. I’m thankful that I asked her out and that, 3 years later, I asked her to marry me. I’m especially thankful she said yes. Nashville may be known to most people as a place where country music legends are made. But to me, it will always be the place where I fell in love with my soul mate. That, too, could be a country song.
Big Steve
P.S. While in Tennessee recently, we enjoyed a meal in historic Bell Buckle with our famous, invisible photographer, Dave Esslinger, and his lovely wife, Bonnie. Dave is now an elementary school principal in Franklin, and Bonnie runs an antique store in Columbia, among other entrepreneurial pursuits. It was great to catch up and talk about old and new memories with them!
Bigs Dave & Steve Antique-ingBonnie & Lil Jan Acting Quaint
I hadn’t planned on writing this blog. It would be easier to simply close this chapter of our lives and move on to the next thing. It’s not a travel adventure and it’s not funny, so you may want to skip it altogether. But I’m going to share these experiences because writing is therapeutic for me, and I’m in need of therapy. Also, our experiences may help others facing similar challenges or decisions in the future.
My precious mom died a few days ago at 77 years of age after a long battle with cancer originating in her bile duct. My dad, sisters, and wife, along with a handful of other caregivers, joined together to care for my mom over the past several months. I will spare you some of the details because they are too sensitive and not appropriate to share outside of our family. I really just want to reflect on some of the decisions we faced and some of our lessons learned from this experience.
Be Tough. Watching a loved one slowly die is a gut-wrenching, emotionally draining experience. Being a personal caregiver for the person, and not just a visitor to a hospital or nursing home, makes the whole process even more difficult. If you ever have to do this, you better come with a soft heart surrounded by a layer of toughness, because this will test your compassion, toughness, and resiliency like nothing else. Initially, I compared the process to that of parenting an infant or toddler. But there is a key difference. In most instances, the parent of a baby is anticipating that their infant will grow and reach milestones like their first step, first word, or first day at school. That’s pretty motivating. With a dying person, the milestones involve a progression of physical deterioration and other seemingly “bad things”, at least until the very end when your loved one’s pain is gone. Although the period of time was much shorter, we found caring for a dying parent much more difficult than anything we had to do while raising our two sons.
Weigh the Care-Giving Options. It seems there are 3 basic ways a person’s life can end. 1) quickly, as in a car accident or sudden illness that takes their life immediately or in just a few days. Case in point: My paternal grandfather was in seemingly good health for a 79 year old, but died instantly following a heart attack while out walking his dog. 2) a prolonged illness in which the final weeks, months, or years are spent in a nursing home of some type. This was the case with my other grandfather, who spent the last several years of his life in a nursing home suffering from chronic health issues. 3) a long-term illness in which the person remains at home for several months or years and is cared for there until the end. The decision on whether to care for a loved one at home or place them in some sort of facility can be really difficult. We seriously considered putting mom in a nursing home and even visited a couple of local facilities. But, ultimately, dad decided that he, along with his family, hospice workers, and friends could work together to provide for my mom at home during the last several weeks, and that’s what we did. I’m glad we did that, although there were moments when I would have voted for the nursing home. Dad even said that had it not been for his network of family and other caregivers, he would have had to place mom in a local facility. Each situation is unique, but I think you have to factor in the condition of the person, type and expected duration of care, availability/willingness of family and other caregivers to help, availability of long-term care insurance, and possibly other financial considerations (the two facilities we visited would have run over $6400/month, although that was not really a factor in keeping mom at home).
Minor in Pharmacy. If you decide to care for a dying person at home, you will need to become proficient in understanding and administering a host of medications. Our hospice nurses were beyond wonderful and guided us through the process. However, on many a night, we had to make judgment calls on the amount or frequency of morphine and other medications, within the parameters set by the nurses. This becomes even trickier when your loved one can no longer verbally communicate pain levels, and so you must rely on signals like a furrowed brow. Another difficult stage to navigate is when the person is medicated and cannot think rationally, but is still mobile. If you’re a heavy sleeper and/or are not physically in the same room as your loved one, you may need to consider child-proof locks on doors or turning off the gas to the stove. This will help prevent your loved one from roaming at night and harming themselves or others.
Work as a Team. Difficult end-of-life situations can either bring a family together or tear it apart. I’ve heard horror stories of families fighting over a loved one’s possessions or arguing over the care-giving options. Stress can bring out the worst in people. I’m so thankful that was not the case with my family. We came together, worked as a team, and encouraged one another. One of the benefits of this is that it allows others on the team to take much-needed breaks from caregiving. Janet and I were able to go on several morning hikes, and take quick trips to Nashville and St Louis, because either my sisters were coming in for the weekend or some other caregiver would be there. We were also able to get my dad out of the house to attend church services and for two rounds of disc golf, which allowed him to get a breather and re-charge his spiritual battery. There was also a stage where mom would call out for assistance every few minutes for hours at a time, and we took turns on sitting with her and responding to those calls. We were a close family already, but this situation brought us even closer. Our team was also blessed with some amazing, non-family caregivers…Lynn, Sharon, and Faye from AseraCare Hospice-Nashville and Tina from my parent’s church. In addition to caring for mom, they were constantly encouraging us and were sympathetic to our needs. Thank you, ladies.
Marry Up. On a similar note, I couldn’t be prouder of my wife, Lil Jan. If you want a classic case of rising to the occasion, she is it. I well remember her wedding vows to me, which involved loving, honoring, and cherishing…for better or worse…in sickness and in health, etc. But the context there typically involves doing those things for the spouse…not necessarily the mother-in-law. She did very difficult, exhausting things for my mom that went well beyond even a broad interpretation of those vows. She had my mom’s back and she had our family’s back. Her love and compassion for my mom was extraordinary, and truly modeled the unconditional love of Christ. We sometimes kid Janet because she has a “bossy gene”, and both sides of the family will often defer to her on what restaurant to go to, where to go on vacation, etc. It takes the pressure off when we “just let Janet decide”. Whether we call that bossiness or simply leadership, I can only say her determination and boldness in ensuring mom got the right care and right dosages…often at 3 in the morning…was needed and appreciated. I married an amazing woman and I will always remember the compassion she showed my mom.
Expect Bizarre Words & Actions. When cancer spreads throughout the body and your loved one is taking morphine and other medications, they will eventually become “not themselves”. By that I mean they may begin to say things or request things that are bizarre or nonsensical…similar to a heavily medicated toddler. As an example, my mom began to request Oreo cookies almost hourly for several days, and ultimately went through several packages of them. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at a package of Oreos again without thinking of her. They also might make odd requests, like wanting to sit in the car at midnight or walk up and down the steps at 3 in the morning. Towards the end, I found myself regularly saying, “that’s mom, but that’s not really mom.” I guess my point here is to not take things said by a dying, heavily medicated person too literally or personally. On the other hand, don’t be too dismissive, as your loved one might surprise you and recall a sweet memory from the past as you sit and talk to them.
Cards Still Matter. The outpouring of love and support for my mom and our family was so uplifting and encouraging. As an example, we used to worship at a church in Brandon, Florida, and I was generally aware of and appreciated a card-writing ministry done by several of the ladies there. But when you are sitting next to your dying mother and see numerous cards from these same ladies…ladies who are 1000 miles away and have never met her…it takes on a whole new meaning. So thank you Bell Shoals ladies! And thanks to all the others who called or sent a card, text, or Facebook message. My dad also mentioned the support given to him by his dear friends, the Balls and the Elders, and others in the neighborhood who have waved at him, said an encouraging word, or provided food. Just as we rallied around my mom, I feel like our friends and extended family rallied around us.
Do Your Homework. For anyone facing a similar situation, I recommend doing some reading on care-giving, end of life decisions, and the specific medical condition your loved one is facing. One of the best things we read was a pamphlet entitled “Gone From My Sight, the Dying Experience” by Barbara Karnes, RN. It was given to us by the hospice ladies and describes in some detail what to expect physically and behaviorally from a dying person. We found it to be highly accurate and we felt better prepared having read it. It also allowed us to get a general idea of how much time mom probably had left, although that is an imprecise science.
Decide on Burial Plans. Your loved one may have specific instructions on this or may leave it up to the family. Some families may live in the same town their whole lives, and have a family burial plot on their land or a nearby cemetery. That is not our family. We have lived all over the world and consider “home” wherever we are currently together. Some families want to have elaborate, expensive funeral services with all the bells and whistles. Nothing wrong with that, but that’s also not our family. Some families like to honor or remember their loved ones who have gone on by travelling long or short distances to a cemetery and placing flowers at a tombstone. Again, nothing wrong with that, but we really don’t do that. We have grandparents we love dearly and remember often, but we rarely drive to their cemeteries for a visit. As for great-grandparents and more distant generations, I don’t know where they are buried. Together, we decided that mom would be cremated. Her soul, the thing that makes her who she is, has gone to be with the Lord, and her physical body is just a shell. God will be giving her a new body when Christ returns some day. Mom’s ashes will be placed in a very special wooden container hand-made by Ellie, her granddaughter. Dad will place that container on the mantel in his living room, and some day his ashes will join hers in that same container. At some point we will spread a few of those ashes at a nearby park or waterfall and say a prayer for mom. And with the family’s permission, I plan to carry a teaspoon of ashes with me during my 2180-mile hike of the Appalachian Trail next year, and spread them at the summit of Mount Katahdin in Maine. As for the ceremony, we have planned a small service at my sister’s farmhouse in Franklin with family, and a few friends and caregivers. We’ll sing some of my mom’s favorite songs, read some of her favorite Scriptures, and take some time to celebrate her life. There will be some tears, but there will also be joy as we reflect on her life and our precious memories with her. As for the money that will be saved by not having a fancy funeral with bells and whistles, my dad has an interesting plan for that money that will be revealed in time.
God is Working. It has been amazing to see God work throughout this whole experience. It was God who placed on our hearts a desire to leave Florida and travel the country in an RV, which positioned us to eventually provide extended care for mom. At the time, we had no idea God’s first mission for us would be spending the summer helping my parents through this challenging time. It was God who guided us through all of the previously discussed decisions to make, and who gave us just enough energy to get through a difficult day or night. It was God who worked through the hearts of our extended family and friends to encourage us with cards, calls, and visits. It was God who arranged schedules and guided travel decisions so that we would all be there at mom’s bedside, praying and comforting her and each other, during her final few moments. It was God who ultimately answered our prayers to take mom home with him, so that there would be no more pain or suffering. Sometimes sickness and dying can cause us to question God, and there were times when we questioned God’s plan and timing. But mostly, we just stepped back and let God work His plan on his terms and timing. Our faith in him is even stronger, and we look forward to the day we’ll be reunited with mom and see God face to face.
I apologize for this long, rambling blog. It was good therapy for me, and I hope it may help someone as they face similar circumstances and decisions. As for us, Janet and I are taking dad for some Mexican food tonight, followed by Wednesday night Bible study at his church. After church, we plan to watch McFarland, USA, and I suspect dad might shed a few tears when the overweight Hispanic runner helps his cross-country team win the state championship. This weekend we’re taking dad on a road trip to St Louis to hear Kyle preach, which will be really cool for him (and us). Yes, we are in a good place now, and we know mom is in an even better place…a place with no morphine, and lots of Oreo cookies.
Big Steve
P.S. A link to mom’s obituary… http://www.cremationsocietyoftn.com/obituaries/Margaret-Peggy-Johnson/#!/Obituary
At various times in history, fanatical leaders have led followers to do bizarre and sometimes horrible acts in the name of religion. Older readers may remember the story of Jim Jones and younger folks likely have studied or will study him in a history class. The heartbreaking story is a great American tragedy and a reminder of the possible consequences of misguided faith. However, like in most tragic stories, there is also a story to be told of the strength and resolve of some great people who rose to the occasion and responded to the tragedy.
Jim Jones founded his religious cult in Indianapolis and then moved the headquarters to Ukiah, California. When questions arose about human rights violations, Jones moved his followers, known as the People’s Temple, to Guyana, South America. As time passed, Jones began to claim that he was the reincarnation of Jesus, Buddha, and other historic figures. Reports of suspected abuses continued, eventually reaching the United States Congress. As Congress became increasingly concerned with the allegations, Jim Jones started to feel the noose tightening on him and his group. He instructed his followers to hold mass suicide drills, which began with the sound of sirens and ended with his followers drinking a red liquid.
In 1978 Congressman Leo Ryan traveled to the compound, known as Jonestown, to investigate the allegations of abusive activities. A day later, Congressman Ryan planned to leave and take four of the cult’s members with him, but Jones had them all killed. Knowing there would be serious consequences to face for these murders, Jones decided to put his mass suicide plan into action. His aides laced a tub of grape fruit drink with cyanide and he ordered everyone to drink, beginning with the children. Over 900 people died, including various family members who were found huddled close together. Jones took his own life with an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound to the left temple.
Prior to the events of 9/11/01, the Jonestown tragedy was the greatest single deliberate loss of American civilians in history. It was a senseless tragedy that resulted from a group of people who mindlessly held to a bankrupt philosophy and followed an unmerciful, egotistical leader. Interestingly, the phrase “Drinking the Kool-Aid” came about from this tragedy, although technically Jones used Flavor Aid as the poison. According to Chris Higgins in The Atlantic, “Drinking the Kool-Aid” refers to “a person or group holding an unquestioned belief, argument, or philosophy without critical examination”. Socrates taught that an unexamined life is not worth living. I would add that an unexamined, uncritical faith is not worth dying over.
In most history books, articles, and lectures, the story ends there. And now, as Paul Harvey would say, “the rest of the story…” A monumental tragedy had created a monumental mess. What do you with the dead, decomposing bodies of over 900 Americans in Jonestown, Guyana? Since they were Americans, it fell on the United States to clean up the mess and bring the dead bodies home. Projects of this magnitude and complexity often fall on the United States military. Given the circumstances, it made sense to transport the bodies to the Dover Air Force Base mortuary, the largest in the Department of Defense.
As fate would have it, Lieutenant Colonel Bill Turner served as the Deputy Base Commander at Dover AFB during the time of the tragedy. Lt Col Turner was summoned to wing headquarters, where the wing commander explained the situation and asked Turner if he was willing to take charge of the reception and processing of the dead bodies. Turner said that he would, and immediately assembled a group of volunteers who would help him, above and beyond their regular duties. Each prospective volunteer was given the option to decline being on the team, given the anticipated grueling nature of the work. Fortunately, enough brave souls raised their hands and said they would help. According to then-Lt Col Turner, it was a massive undertaking. How do you handle all the media requests? What should the volunteers wear and how long should their shifts be? There was a desire to treat the deceased as human beings; although some expressed concerned that a death by suicide is cowardly and should not be honored.
Despite the best planning efforts of Lt Col Turner and his team, the operation got off to a slow start. The process to solemnly remove the transfer cases containing the bodies from the plane and transfer them was taking too long, and airplanes were backing up. Turner made the call to speed up the process by using pallets to move the transfer cases, but was concerned that the nearby news reporters would criticize the process as undignified or inhumane. Still, he stuck with his decision, the logjam cleared, and the reporter wrote his story.
The next big issue was where to put the bodies. Mortuaries may have room for several bodies waiting to be processed in a mass casualty event…but not over 900 bodies! Lt Col Turner learned of an old ammunition bunker full of furniture that could be used, but would have to be cleaned out first. Turner’s team sprang into action and in hot, humid conditions, emptied the bunker. It was ready to go by 11:00 that night, when a call came from the wing commander, asking to speak to Lt Col Turner. Turner figured the news about the pallets had caused a public outcry, and that he was about to be fired. Instead, the opposite happened. Of the public and others who contacted the base, most were concerned that the suicide victims not be treated like heroes. The news reports of the use of pallets calmed their concerns, which made for a happy wing commander. Turner kept his job.
Aerial view of Jonestown following the massacre
Still, the challenges just kept coming. Refrigerated 18-wheelers were rented to store the bodies, which were contained in gray bags and passed to the truck via a volunteer assembly line. Team members removed each body from its bag, cleaned it, and then transported it to mostly FBI pathologists. Given the number of bodies and round-the-clock operations, Turner needed more volunteers. Many had never seen a dead body, much less touched one. Many were young adults who certainly never envisioned having to perform such a tiring, emotionally draining task.
The team had to empty the pockets of the deceased, which contained notes to next of kin, notes to Jim Jones (who they addressed as their father), and oddly, even toothpaste and toothbrushes. Turner notes that even in gut-wrenching situations, a sense of humor is required. He noted that on one of the bodies, a worker had laid the toothpaste and toothbrush on the deceased’s chest, along with a note that said, “You are our 100th customer. You get free dental care for life.” But mostly, it was serious business. The remains were fingerprinted, embalmed, wrapped in sheets, wrapped in a clear plastic bag and then placed in a black plastic bag. The body bags were then placed in coffins inside a garage, and negotiations took place to transfer them to California for burial.
According to Lt Col Turner, the operation took an incredible toll on the workers. Some broke down in tears during processing, and others experienced nightmares. A few went as long as they could, and then just had to walk away. One worker, who was a member of the same church as Turner, had a baby of his own who wore Pampers diapers. The worker’s job was to unzip the body bags and move them out. According to Turner, “One of the bodies was a baby who wore Pampers.”
Another volunteer was a woman whose task was to burn the organs removed during embalming in a hospital incinerator to prevent disease. While lifting a bag of organs onto the incinerator, it broke and the contents spilled on her. According to those who witnessed the incident, she screamed, pulled off her clothes, and ran outside in just her underwear. According to Lt Col Turner, the amazing part of the story is that she went to another part of the hospital, donned nurse’s scrubs, and went straight back to work. She, along with all the other volunteers, received well-deserved military citations.
In reflecting on this tragic chapter in American history, there are many lessons to learn. Here are two:
Believe in something only after giving it a critical review. Don’t just blindly follow a person or your heart’s emotions. If your religion…your faith…is true, it should stand up to critical scrutiny. It should make sense, and should answer some of the fundamental questions of life. If it doesn’t make sense and can’t stand up to critical scrutiny, it’s not much of a belief system. Still, even a belief in something that is true requires an element of faith…a confidence in what we hope for and an assurance about what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1).
Even in the most tragic situations, good can come from them. If nothing else, they test people. Martin Luther King, Jr., once said, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” In 1 Peter 1:6-7, we’re told that, for a little while longer, we’ll have to suffer grief in all kinds of trials, but “These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” I’d have to say Lt Col Turner and his team of volunteers faced a time of incredible challenge and difficulty and they measured up. Their story may not be told in history books, but it’s being told here.
A final note: everything you’ve read above is true, to the best of my knowledge, except for one. The man in charge of the operation, the leader of the crew of selfless volunteers, was not Lt Col Turner. He was Lt Col Johnson. He answered the call, as he had done many times before…and many times since. Some may know him as retired Colonel Brad Johnson, others know him as Grandpa Johnson, but I usually just call him “Dad”.
Big Steve and I love going to the movies. We’re always looking for something to entertain us, but also for the occasional deeper message that we can relate to real life. So when Steve wanted us to go see this new, animated movie “Inside Out”, I have to admit I wasn’t thrilled. He said, “it’s gotten great ratings and I think you’ll enjoy it.” Steve has been known to pick some “not so good” movies based on critic reviews, but I must say with this one I was pleasantly surprised. Not only was the movie entertaining with great animation and comedic interaction between characters, it was also very thought-provoking. So much so, it prompted me to put together a few thoughts about some topics from the movie. If you haven’t seen the movie yet, I will try not to spoil anything for you.
The movie involves a happy little girl named Riley who receives news that her father is moving their family from the Midwest to San Francisco. Of course, this is upsetting news to her. Like all of us, Riley is guided by her emotions and the majority of the movie takes place in a fictional “headquarters” in the control center of Riley’s mind. The emotions running her headquarters are Joy, Fear, Anger, Disgust and Sadness. The story progresses showing how each of these emotions come into play in situations throughout Riley’s day, affecting her and those around her.
As Steve and I left this movie, his previous Psychology teaching brain kicked in and he said, “you could write a whole psychological thesis on that movie”. We continued to discuss several ideas from the movie, even several days after seeing it. We talked about how our emotions were working in certain situations. I even caught myself imaging those cute little animated figures going around in my brain. So, I decided to put some thoughts together about the concept of this movie and hope that as you read it you can gather something from it that will help you to understand your mindset or someone else’s a little better.
In the movie, each emotion had a specific job to play in a situation and a certain emotion would emerge as the predominant one that characterized the personality of the person. In Riley’s case, her predominant emotion was Joy, at least up until the time of her move. In our lives, we too should strive to have Joy as our leading emotion. In Romans 15:13, the Bible states “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” As Christians we are called to be joyful and we can obtain that joy through the peace and hope we receive from the Holy Spirit. We’ve all known people who just always seem to be in a good mood and always find the best in every situation (my friend Jenny Diamond comes to mind). This is an endearing personality and definitely beats letting your other emotions (sadness, anger, disgust, fear) determine your demeanor. However, there may be times when these other emotions need to take over the control board.
In the movie, Joy finds out that every now and then, it’s better for a different emotion to take the lead in a situation. In Riley’s case, this emotion was Sadness. Joy realized toward the end of the movie that Riley needed her emotion Sadness to come to the forefront so that she could deal with her sadness and work through it to move forward. One of the things that struck me about this concept is that we were created with all these emotions for a reason. Emotions, when applied in the right quantities in the right situations, aren’t inherently bad. They all play a part in the makeup of our character. We are who we are because of the part each of these emotions has played in our lives. They allow us to deal with the joys and sorrows we experience in life. It is because of Sadness we know the meaning of Joy. It is because of Anger we can experience Peace. It is because of Disgust we can know the value of Contentment. It is because of Fear that we can experience the thrills of life or avoid certain risky behavior. However, too much Fear might keep you from pursuing a dream or goal that God has in mind for you. We need all our emotions to experience life as fully as God intended us to.
Steve and I have spent this summer helping his dad care for Steve’s mother who is nearing the end of her journey on this earth. We believe God had this specific mission in mind when planting a seed in our minds to travel the country serving others. Each day presents a series of challenges and each day is full of a range of emotions. Like Riley in the movie, our mind’s control center is operating at full capacity. It’s interesting how so much emphasis and advice is given on to how to raise children when, at least in our experience, issues with aging parents have been more challenging for us. This summer, there have been moments of deep Sadness as we see Peggy’s body and mind continue to deteriorate, and as we watch Steve’s dad and the rest of the family mourn as we say our long goodbye to her. There are moments of Fear and Doubt as we question whether we’ve made the right call related to her medication, care, comfort, dietary requests, etc. At times there is Anger that cancer exists and that it is winning the battle against her physical being. There are moments of Despair when we can’t seem to find a way to acceptably comfort her. We have felt some Frustration with God, asking him to either heal her or bring her home to the room He’s prepared for her.
On the other hand, there are moments of Thankfulness…that God gave her a long life, that I had many years with a wonderful mother-in-law, that the family is all working on this together, and for all the cards and prayers that have been offered on her behalf. And just like in the movie, we are finding moments when all the other emotions are pushed aside and Joy emerges. There was Joy when Steve’s mom laughed as he sang Old Man River to her with his belly exposed and then she said “put that thing away”. There is Joy when she is able to recall a distant memory from her past or sing the song “Climb Up Sunshine Mountain” that she sang to every grandkid. There is Joy, and a little Sadness, when we see Steve’s dad curled up next to her in her hospital bed in their bedroom. Before too long, we know Sadness is going to come barreling through the door again and take center stage in our emotional control centers. In a sense, it will always remain with us as we will have a hole in our hearts that no one but Peg can fill. And yet, we’re hopeful that, like in the movie, Joy will triumph at the end of the day. There will be Joy that Peggy is in a much better place and that God “will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:4) Joy will fill our hearts as we reflect on the incredible love she showed us and all the wonderful memories she gave us. We’ll be Joyful knowing that, as Christians, we will see her again some day.
Back to the movie…we hope that you’ll see this “psychological thriller”, and that you’ll use it as a teaching tool with your children and others. It’s a fascinating look at how we allow certain emotions to take center stage in certain situations. How we handle these emotions influences how our friends and others view us. May we all strive to handle our emotions in a way that others can see God in us.
– Lil Jan
P.S. For an even deeper look at lessons from this movie, I recommend Joseph Lalonde’s “17 Leadership Lessons And Quotes From Pixar’s Inside Out” which can be found at this link… http://www.jmlalonde.com/17-leadership-lessons-and-quotes-from-pixars-inside-out/
We sit in the mud… and reach for the stars. – Ivan Turgenev
When a Big Steve and a Little Jan love each other very much, a Bigger Steve is brought into the world. I, Steven Kyle Johnson, 21, am that Bigger Steve. That’s right- this blog post was penned by the youngest member of the Johnson clan, and I can only hope that the title alliteration will keep you around long enough to hear me out as a guest writer.
I was able to spend 4 days with my RVing parents in Franklin, TN (outside of Nashville) this past weekend, and wanted to share with you three of the many memories we forged together during this brief visit.
Flatulence
Growing up in a household where Janet raised three male children (Steve, Jason, and myself), I am no rookie when it comes to flatulence. Passing gas was just as much a part of my childhood as boxing tournaments against Jason officiated by Steve when Jan was not home; as developing low self-confidence as a young, overweight soccer player referred to as “The Great Wall of Germany”; and as proclaiming “Heil Hitler!” mid-day in a German town square as my parents watched in horror. Every family member in every family holds his or her own unique flatulence role. In our family, Steve was the most consistent tooter, Jason was the most deadly tooter, Kyle was the most-expected-to-be-the-worst-but-in-reality-tooted-the-least tooter, and Jan was the tooter who would never own up to the fact that she too, as a human being, was indeed a tooter. Jan, after this weekend, will never be able to say the same.
The Great Wall of Germany
Monday morning comes, and it’s time for a hike, which my parents have made their custom during this new stage of life. The trek across a grassy field and along a river in the forest quickly turned interesting, as the mud on the trail was so thick that at any given point we were at high risk of slipping in the muck, sliding down into the mighty river, and never again being able to taste of Uncle Vin’s exquisite cereal collection. After about 15 minutes of slowly maneuvering, almost slipping multiple times, and Jan asking if we could abandon this newfound mud crusade, the inevitable happened: The Janetor took a major tumble. I had a front row view of my dear mother losing her balance, yelping as only Jan can yelp, and slamming down her rear end right into the mud. If that was not already humorous enough (she was not injured, of course), one of my all-time favorite Janny Boo moments occurred– she starts ripping some powerful wind. I mean, some major air tulips were being planted right there in the mud. In ten years, Jan will completely deny flatulating and I will likely accuse her of ripping about 10 squeakers, but in reality it was a solid 3 or 4 ground rumblers released. It was beautiful- Dad and I laughed and cried for a solid minute, before we proceeded to actually help up Miss Toots-A-Lot.
Some Gunk on the Trunk
Why, then, did I just write this long-winded (pun intended) story about my mother falling and tooting? 1) To prove I can also write verbose stories like Big Steve. 2) To enjoy the opportunity to write run-on sentences. 3) To show that it is memories like this one- unexpected, strange, even embarrassing memories- that you cherish forever. Reminisce on your favorite family moments, and recall if any one of them was planned in an agenda or was even supposed to happen. Plan for the future, plan an awesome vacation, plan a game night with the family- but don’t be surprised when the memories you value the most happen after a tumble on a muddy trail in Franklin, TN. Embrace, and celebrate, unexpected memories.
4th of July–Downtown Franklin TN
Fireworks
When it pours down rain on July 4th, July 5th becomes a much more exciting day. In the Franklin neighborhood where we were staying, they were unable to shoot off their thousands of dollars of fireworks due to the weather. So on the 5th we sat outside in our chairs at 8:50pm and prepared for the 9:15pm show. But… 9:15 came, and there were no fireworks. We were growing tired of watching punk teenagers shoot baby fireworks at each other and at our dog, we were being bit by bugs (Jan would find a tick on her the next morning), and we were worried that they had already started and we were just not looking in the right spot. As patience was dwindling, and some of us were considering turning in, our poor attitudes were smacked in the face with the sweet sound of the legendary 2010 pop song, “Firework”. I glanced over at DJ Big Steve and the lit iPhone in his lap, and saw a sly smile growing on his face, as he slowly mouthed the words along with Katy Perry. Caught in a moment of growing tension and disappointment, Big Steve did what Big Steve has always done- something small to lighten the mood.
The decision to play this song might seem really insignificant to you, and even lame in comparison to Jan’s tooting story, but it represented something I have always valued in my dad and in all people who practice this principle: Make the best out of every situation. If you’re trying to watch fireworks on July 5th and it’s not working out, make a really lame DJ move that makes everyone smile. If tensions are running high at work, school, church, home, etc.- make a joke and make others, and yourself, laugh. e.e. Cummings once wrote, “The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” No matter how hard a day or week has been, I believe there is always something to take joy in and chuckle at. I believe God created us with a sense of humor to help us get through this tough life a little bit easier. Take yourself a little bit less seriously, and I think you’ll find you can take serious things a little bit easier. And oh, by the way, the Franklin fireworks show started by the end of the song, and it was well worth the wait.
Finances
I’ll make this last one quick- because this whole Johnson thing where I talk too much is catching up to my word count. Over the course of the weekend, I spent probably 4 hours talking to Stevie-Boy about finances, which at first sounds, well… awful. I will graduate from college in 10 months, and know very little about how to responsibly manage money, so I was asking a billion questions and he was patiently answering as many as he could. His wise approach was basically this: “Do what you want, but this worked for me so maybe do this, and that didn’t work for me so maybe don’t do that.” It struck me how similar an approach we all have to take when sharing wisdom or sharing our own personal stories. None of us are perfectly wise…Big Steve doesn’t know everything about money, Lil Jan doesn’t know everything about marriage or hiking in mud, I know very little about everything, and you are not omniscient, either. But God works through our lives and graces us with a fair understanding of certain things, and ultimately God co-authors the story each of us is writing. I think one of the best things we can do is to share wisdom with a child, friend, stranger, or whoever based on the story God has written for each of us. My favorite author Donald Miller wrote the following: “I asked God to help me understand the story of the forest and what it means to be a tree in that story.” I hope and pray you find your role as a tree in God’s forest. And when you do, I hope you will tell other trees about your experiences. As for me, this weekend I was grateful to God for being the son of two tree bloggers who live in an RV down by the river.
In the movie, each emotion had a specific job to play in a situation and a certain emotion would emerge as the predominant one that characterized the personality of the person. In Riley’s case, her predominant emotion was Joy, at least up until the time of her move. In our lives, we too should strive to have Joy as our leading emotion. In Romans 15:13, the Bible states “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” As Christians we are called to be joyful and we can obtain that joy through the peace and hope we receive from the Holy Spirit. We’ve all known people who just always seem to be in a good mood and always find the best in every situation (my friend Jenny Diamond comes to mind). This is an endearing personality and definitely beats letting your other emotions (sadness, anger, disgust, fear) determine your demeanor. However, there may be times when these other emotions need to take over the control board.
