My Favorite Trail Things

By:  Sir Fob W. Pot

Written:  At midnight at Kinkora Hostel, mile 418.2, with apologies to Julie Andrews

To:  All my fellow hikers…Keep hiking and never give up on your dream!

Switchbacks and privies and gaps with Trail Magic
Hitchhiking, hostels, Gold Bond for butt rashes
A trail town buffet that is all you can eat
These are a few of my favorite trail things…

Tortillas for dinner, with oatmeal cream pies
Nose ran so much that it drowned 2 black flies
Took Vitamin I for the pain in my knee
These are a few of my favorite trail things…

‘Twas cold in the Smokies, could not feel my fingers
Eight servings of chili, the pungency lingers
Met Lumpy, Ron Haven, and Bob Peoples too
These are a few of my favorite trail things…

Chorus:
When the bears bite, when my tent leaks,
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite trail things
And then I don’t feel so bad

Hiked 400 miles, every blaze, not a cheater
Map must be wrong, I’ve gone one centimeter
A family of field mice now live in my beard
These are a few of my favorite trail things…

Read Dave Miller’s AWOL, like it was the Bible
Slept in a barn’s loft, And it all felt so tribal
When I need water, I give Sawyer a squeeze
These are a few of my favorite trail things…

I pee in a bottle, at midnight and later
Eat spuds with my Ramen, and poop ’em out later
Katahdin is calling, I’ll hike til I’m thru
The AT is one of my favorite things…

Chorus:
When the bears bite, when my tent leaks,
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite trail things
And then I don’t feel so bad

Fob