Tuesday, June 5th

Last night, we gathered in the Game Room to play cards, trivia, and The Weird Game. Kyle invented the Weird Game several years ago during a family Christmas gathering.

The rules are simple: Each person takes everyone in the family (or friend group, or cruise traveling party) and ranks them from Weirdest to Most Normal. Scores are then compiled. Each ranker gets to define what constitutes weird. Generally, it is the degree to which someone is uninhibited, defies social norms, or behaves strangely.

On my side of the family, my sister Stacy is the undisputed Weirdest member of the family. She’s gone undefeated for the past decade. I’ve seen her relieve herself at restaurants (at the table), moon bicyclists, place my deceased Aunt Mary’s ashes in her nephew’s backpack (to be later discovered at school) and engage in other socially unacceptable behavior. To her credit, she’s also a deep thinker; wise, empathetic counselor; and awesome sister.

So, we played the name game and of the 14 members in our party, the 5 Weirdest were…

1. Tim Genry, Kyle’s father-in-law and the King of Weird.

2. Kyle…more on that in a moment.

3. Laci, Kyle’s wife…as we drove by a large, taxiing airplane near Juneau yesterday, she asked our guide if that was the airport. Bless her heart.

4. Steve, Kyle’s dad…pretty normal, except for when he activated the fart app whenever someone passed by the game room.

5. Janet, Kyle’s mom…5 to 7 times per day, her temperature suddenly rises by 20 degrees and flames exit her behind. Nuff said.

From a purely statistical standpoint, Kyle is the common denominator and has no chance of living a normal life or having normal children. He’ll continue dominating the Weird Game, studying Greek for fun, wearing Chacos 24/7, grooming his dog with dull child scissors, and pooping on trails.

For the first time on our trip, Alaska’s famed rainy weather began. With a leisurely port day in Ketchikan planned, the light drizzle wasn’t a big deal. We are grateful to have had ideal weather for most of our trip and all of our excursions.

After breakfast we disembarked and began a walking tour of Ketchikan. We did some touristy shopping and got coffee at the local cafes.

Among Ketchikan’s claims to fame:

1. One of its two zip codes, 99950, is the highest numbered in the United States.

2. “Salmon Capital of the World.”

3. Home of the Misty Fiords National Monument. (The “i” in “fiords” is pronounced “y,” as with Iellowstone National Park.)

4. Has the world’s largest collection of standing totem poles.

That’s all good stuff; but, in light of today’s theme, what about the Weird stuff? What about some history or attractions that would make Stacy or Kyle almost blush?

That answer came soon enough as we walked to an area at the mouth of Ketchikan Creek. The area earned Ketchikan a measure of infamy during the first half of the 20th century for a red-light district known as Creek Street, with brothels lining either side of the creek.

We approached 20 Creek Street (pictured) where Ketchikan’s most infamous resident, Beatrice Green, began to ply her trade in 1947. For half a century, this house, like so many others along the creek, was a place where both men and fish came to spawn… the fish once, many of the men repeatedly.

In 1954, when authorities brought an end to open prostitution on Creek Street, most of the ladies left town, retired, or moved to other neighborhoods. Police commissioner Gordon Sumner, noticing Miss Green hadn’t left, told her, “Miss Green, you don’t have to put on the red light. Those days are over. You don’t have to sell your body to the night.”

She refused to listen. Instead, Beatrice Green and a few others simply went underground.

Following the crackdown, she played a game of cat-and-mouse with the local police, entertaining “gentlemen callers” when she thought she could get away with it; lying low went the heat was on. When the Navy was in town, sailors would reportedly travel by/under water at high tide, and sneak into her home at a secret opening in the floor.

A little weird, no?

After returning to the ship, we celebrated our final dinner onboard at Cafe Bayou, a “specialty dining” location. Among many good eating experiences on this trip, this meal was the best. I had a salad with avocado slice and a small bowl of jambalaya for appetizers, a 22-ounce monster porterhouse steak for the entree, and a creamy chocolate and peanut butter concoction for dessert.

After dinner, we made our way to the Princess Theater to hear Janet sing in the Voice of the Ocean finals. Although she didn’t win the top prize, she got the crowd going with a wonderful, spirited performance of Dancing Queen. Two of the three judges spun their chairs for her and had good things to say. I’m very proud of my Little Dancing Queen for having the courage to compete, and kayak, on this cruise.

Tomorrow, our cruise will end and I’ll share one more post with details from our final day, travel home (total nightmare), and a few cruise takeaways. Yes, it’s time to resume our normal lives, traveling the country and living in a van down by the river. A life more than a few people have called…a little weird.