Friday, May 25

Three to go. Yes, after 52 years on Planet Earth, I’ve visited 47 states, leaving just 3 to go. North Dakota, Michigan, and Alaska. Well, I should say “about 3.” My wife tells me I really haven’t done Hawaii, because she wasn’t with me. Following her logic, I also haven’t done childhood.

Regardless of the math, it’s time to take on Alaska…the Last Frontier. A state 2.5 times the size of Texas. A state with more coastline than all other states combined. A state with more inland water than any other state. Most importantly, the only state that can be spelled using a single row on a standard keyboard.

We arrived in St Louis to join up with our son, Kyle, and his wife, Laci. We will later join up with 10 more of her family and friends.

As we plopped down in their living room, their dog (our only grandchild) climbed up my torso and pounced on my face. She’s basically a large cotton ball with legs. She’s also a bichon frise, which in French means “please groom me.” My dad, her original owner, named her Pita, an acronym for a 4-word phrase beginning with “Pain.” As a minister, Kyle must claim she’s named after the flat, hollowed, unleavened bread. Who names their dog after bread? As Pita ran her tongue along the inside of my left nostril, I was convinced my dad had more accurately named her.

While we watched carpool karaoke, Kyle pulled out a little pair of scissors, the kind kindergarten teachers trash because they no longer cut. Right on queue, Laci put Pita in a headlock and Kyle began cutting her hair…about 3 cotton fibers per cut. Unable to handle the inefficiency of this money saving process, and the tears in Pita’s eyes, I looked away.

That night, a friend delivered us to the STL airport. We made our way to the USO lounge, a military hangout featuring free snacks, TVs, gaming consoles, and a room full of beds. After partaking of hot dogs, bowls of cereal and a game of Quirkle, we found 4 unoccupied beds on which to get a few hours of sleep. Tomorrow at 6am, we fly to Dallas, Seattle, and then Alaska!