If you follow sports or national news headlines, you’ve probably heard about or seen video of the all-out, bench-clearing brawl that occurred at the end of the Kansas-Kansas State college basketball game on Tuesday night. As basketball fights go, it was the scariest I’ve seen. It’s a wonder no one was seriously injured.
Coaches, parents, youth ministers, and middle-aged bloggers call these incidents “teachable moments.” However, before we get to what is teachable, let’s set the stage.
The Kansas Jayhawks had a 22-point lead over their cross-state rival and the ball at half court toward the end of the game. In such a scenario, two unwritten rules of game etiquette generally apply:
- If you have the ball, are way ahead, and time is running out, you stop trying to score. There’s no need to add to your already substantial lead—no need to further humiliate your weaker opponent. You dribble in place and everyone stands around until time expires.
- If you are far behind and your opponent is adhering to rule #1, you allow them to. You back off and let them run out the clock.
However, there is a third principle that is often applied in sports and in life:
3. Play hard to the end. Never give up. The game isn’t over until the final horn sounds.
Despite Kansas State Coach Weber’s explicit instructions to his team to adhere to rule #2, DaJuan Gordon was having none of that. Whether it was due to his youth, inexperience, frustration over losing, or a firm belief in rule #3, Gordon stripped Kansas’ Silvio De Sousa of the ball and drove down the court to attempt an end-of-game score. De Sousa, upset that his adherence to rule #1 had not resulted in his opponent’s adherence to rule #2, charged down the court to make a play on the ball. If his opponent was going to live rule #3, he would as well.
De Sousa caught up with Gordon and forcefully blocked his attempted layup. Had the story ended there, we would have no story. Unfortunately, De Sousa, still enraged over the perceived disrespect shown him, stood over Gordon, taunting him. Players on the Kansas State bench, in response to the taunting, left the bench and charged the scene. Players from the Kansas bench soon followed. A melee ensued, with pushing, shoving, and punches thrown. As the fight spilled into the crowd, De Sousa picked up a chair and raised it to deliver a blow, but was stopped by an assistant coach. After several frightening moments, players were separated and order was restored.
As for the teachable…
1. Note the linkage between anger and violence. When emotions get out of hand, bad things result. James 1:1 asks, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” In the Sermon on the Mount, specifically Matthew 5:21-22, Jesus says it’s not enough to simply not murder…we should not even become angry. Violence, and the murder that sometimes results from it, has its roots in anger. Rather than fully vent our rage like a fool (Proverbs 29:11), we “should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19)
2. Be a peacemaker! In Matthew 5:9, Jesus blesses peacemakers and says they will be called children of God. You can spot them in the video of the brawl. They are the coaches, security personnel, and others who are separating players, deescalating the situation, and preventing further harm. Without their calming presence, I wonder how the scenario would have ended. I also wonder, had I been there, what role would I have played? Would I have joined my favorite team in throwing punches? Would I have stepped back but cheered them on? Would I have sat silently, thinking “it’s not my fight”? Or, would I have helped deescalate the situation as a peacemaker?
3. Bad behavior has consequences. In Colossians 3:25, Paul writes, “Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs.” Yesterday, the Big 12 suspended four players a combined 25 games for their roles in the fight. De Sousa, as the primary instigator, was given a 12-game suspension by the league office. A teammate received a 2-game suspension and two Kansas State players received 8-game and 2-game suspensions. Both schools were reprimanded by the Big 12 for violations of its sportsmanship policy. Beyond that, the incident sullied the reputation of the teams, college basketball, and the players themselves. Less importantly, the suspensions will impact the teams’ ability to win basketball games while the suspensions are served.
4. Bad behavior should lead to contrition. To the credit of the players and coaches, that’s what happened following the brawl. The coaches and several of the players apologized. Coach Self called a female spectator who had been knocked down in the scuffle to check on her and apologize for his team’s behavior. I didn’t read any excuses from anyone directly involved in the incident. In this day and age, that’s remarkable. Pay attention to how often people try to justify or mitigate bad behavior by beginning, “But what about…” and then pointing to the just as bad, or even worse, behavior of someone else. It happens every day. Except for some fans’ comments, it didn’t happen in this case. Consider De Sousa’s heartfelt apology on his Twitter account…
He owned his behavior, apologized for it, and accepted the consequences. He offered no excuses. There was no, “But what about…” He’s embarrassed by his actions and wants to do better going forward. He concludes with “I messed up and I am sorry.” That’s contrition. In the Christian context, that’s called confession of sins and repentance.
5. When we learn from our mistakes, we can be better going forward. In Philippians 3:13b, Paul calls us to forget what is behind and strain toward what is ahead. To bounce back and not let our past define us. I believe that will be the case with Silvio De Sousa. I’ll admit, I had a pretty low opinion of him after watching the video. Literally, all I knew about him was what may go down as the worst 30 seconds of his life. (I would hate for anyone to judge me or draw conclusions based on the worst 30 seconds of my life!) I still don’t know much about the young man, but on his Twitter account, I note his prayer for the safety of our troops on January 4th and, on December 29th, an expression of thankfulness to “the man up above” for every minute of his life. On December 18th, he joined his teammates in Christmas shopping for families in need. I don’t know Silvio De Sousa’s heart, but I think he’s going to bounce back and do great things with his life. I’m pulling for him.
A teachable moment? I think so. To recap…
- Guard your emotions, especially anger.
- Be known as a peacemaker, regardless of context.
- Before acting, consider the consequences of your behavior.
- When you screw up, own it. Don’t make excuses. Ask God to forgive you.
- Learn from your mistakes and be a better person going forward.
Oh, and one more thing: Don’t draw conclusions about a person based on the worst 30 seconds of their life. There may be more to the story.
Class dismissed.
So true very well spoken
Thank you, Mr. Miller…AT Trail Angel.
Hey Steve. You know it’s funny you should post this “teachable moment”. The other day at work I lost my cool and blasted two coworkers in front of a third person. Long story and I won’t go into details, but what I did was wrong. I realized that shortly after the incident and as soon as was possible, I apologized to everyone. By days end I was called into the managers office. Of course I knew why, and before she could even speak, I let her know how sorry I was and that I had already apologized to everyone. Your post could not have come at a more perfect time. Thank you.
Mary