Setting: December 27th, 2019, 10:00 a.m., apartment complex fitness center, Maryville, TN
[In an effort to keep Raymond & Shirley active and physically fit, Steve and Janet are giving them a fitness center orientation. While Steve, Janet, and Shirley run and walk on the treadmills, Raymond flexes his 86-year-old biceps with the help of some dumbbells. He’s in a long-sleeve, button down shirt and slacks—easily the best dressed person working out today in Blount County. After Steve finishes, he invites Raymond over to the treadmill to walk him through the various functions. Raymond nervously steps onto the running belt.]
Steve: You can “set a goal” with this button, and then set your “time” or “distance” here, and then adjust your “speed” here.
Raymond: Okay.
Steve: If anything goes wrong, you can hit the “Stop” button or pull the string on this shutoff magnet and everything will stop.
Raymond: Good to know.
Steve: Just to get you started, I’m going to put you at 1.5 miles per hour, kind of a casual walking pace.
Raymond: Sounds good.
[Steve adjusts the speed to 1.5 mph and Raymond begins walking, his little legs in perfect rhythm. All is well. Moments later, Shirley ends her workout and walks over to Raymond’s machine. She has a concerned look on her face, not unlike when she first met Steve.]
Shirley: 1.5? That’s not very fast.
Raymond: Just trying it out.
Shirley: I did 2.6 miles per hour over there. You’re not going very fast.
Raymond: I’m fine. Really.
Shirley: You’re barely moving. Let me adjust you upward a bit, at least to a 2.
[I admire a woman who wants to bring out the best in her man.]
Raymond: I don’t know about that.
[With Steve looking on and Raymond grimacing, Shirley reaches for the speed button. Rather than tap it incrementally, she presses firmly and holds it down. The machine responds. In fact, in approximately 1.5 seconds, Raymond is launched down the spinning belt to a speed of 6.5 miles per hour! With everyone looking on in shock and horror (most especially, Raymond), Steve glances down in time to see Raymond’s legs churning like the Roadrunner’s, just as Wile E. Coyote is about to munch down on him.]
Raymond (in the closest he will ever come to an expletive): Shirl!
Janet: Momma!
Steve: Poppa!
[With a disaster unfolding before our eyes, and Raymond catapulting down the belt, Steve reaches for the emergency shutoff magnet with his right hand, while his left hand reaches for the backside of Raymond’s trousers. Steve jerks the magnet. Suddenly everything stops as Raymond regains his balance. The room is still and awkwardly quiet.]
For our annual Johnson family advertisementbrag rag Christmas missive, we thought, what could be more creative and original than an acronym using, get this, the word CHRISTMAS! To our knowledge, no one’s EVER done that. So, here goes…
C is for Christ, the reason for ALL seasons. His incarnation, life, death, and resurrection changed the world. Each year, let’s try to live a little more like him.
C also stands for the Children we hold dear. We’ll start with our grandchildren. Okay, enough on that. Jason & Rachel and our 2 grand-cats continue loving life in the Tar Heel state. He’s a full-up Prosthetist & Orthotist now, annually showing more leg(s) than Beyoncé. Rachel stays busy keeping the household running and enjoying outings and Bible studies with her gal pals. They declined our offer to accompany them on their romantic, 5-year anniversary getaway to Iceland. We don’t get it.
Hiking in Kentucky
Kyle & Laci & grand-dog Pita are taking in all that the STL area has to offer. He continues to minister and serve the Lafayette Church of Christ in Ballwin MO. He can often be found in a local coffee shop sipping java, reading his Bible and interacting with patrons. Laci’s now a full-up, employed Occupational Therapist. With that came dental insurance, allowing Kyle to get his teeth cleaned for the first time since Obama’s first term. The dentist thinks he’ll be able to save several of Kyle’s teeth.
H stands for Highlands, as in the miniature horse-covered Grayson Highlands of Virginia, where we took what would become the final trip in our RV. This was Steve’s overall favorite section of the Appalachian Trail, so he enjoyed re-tracing familiar steps with his favorite gal.
R stands for the aforementioned RV, which we sadly lost in a campground fire this year. We made great memories in our RV travels over the past 5 years and that lifestyle will be missed. For more on that, read our 11/21 blog at https://www.bigsteveandliljan.com/out-of-the-ashes/
“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” – 2 Corinthians 4:18
I stands for In-Laws, specifically Janet’s parents, Ray & Shirley. We’re excited that they recently moved in with us. So far, only two noticeable impacts: 1) more strawberry strudel in the freezer; and 2) Steve does less prancing around in his whitey tighties. (Note: spell check suggested I change that word to “tightness” but I stood my ground.)
S stands for Sojourns, Speaking gigs, and Sheet rocking. Our love for sojourning continued with stops at Palmetto Bible Camp SC, Carolina Bible Camp NC, Camp Inagehi GA, and a non-sojourn week of teaching Bible and counseling at Camp Wabashi IN. We also planned and hosted the annual Florida Sojourner workshop at Central Florida Bible Camp, and then spent a crazy fun week in Key West with our sojourner buds, Denton & Beth Wiggains.
Steve’s speaking gigs this year included a young men’s retreat near Houston, the National Christian Camp Association annual meeting in Florida, a Veterans Day speech and area-wide youth rally in Maryville, and Appalachian Trail talks with various groups. He also spent a week in Texas doing disaster relief (sheet rocking) with his good buddy, Chuck Leasure.
T stands for The Eulogy – A Sojourner’s Tale, a novel we co-wrote and published this year. We use the fictional tale of a dying Christian man, and the family that rallies around him, to tell the true story of the Sojourners. Hope you’ll check it out on Amazon… https://www.amazon.com/Eulogy-Sojourners-Tale-Steve-Johnson/dp/1694752151
M stands for Maryville, TN, our new home! Love, love, love it here! (Yes, we could have listed this under T, but then we would have had to come up with something for M and, frankly, no one wants to hear about the illegal moonshine still we’re operating out of our spare bedroom.) We have been welcomed with open arms and loving hearts by the family at Eastside Church of Christ. If you’re ever in the area (only 40 mins from Gatlinburg), feel free to come by for a visit!
Biltmore Babes
A stands for Apples and Asheville. In September, we traveled to Missouri to surprise Kyle for his birthday and, while there, did some apple-picking at Eckert’s Orchard. Last month, Janet celebrated long-time friend Lynne’s birthday with another long-time friend, Jana. What happens in Asheville stays in Asheville, but there are reports that the 3 buds hiked, toured a special Downton Abbey-themed Biltmore House, sipped coffee, reminisced about old times and planned future birthday adventures together.
Wouldn’t have lasted long in the Garden of Eden
Finally, S stands for Sewing, more specifically crocheting. 2020 will hopefully find Steve finishing a faith-based book about board games and find Janet cranking out a new hat, scarf, or pair of mittens. Thanks to Janet’s sister, Carol, who taught Janet this new hobby, we will all be nice and warm this holiday season!
And to think I used to carry them
We sometimes discuss how neat it would be to live in the same town as our kiddos so we could see them every week. However, an upside to our current familial arrangement is that our limited times together are always highly anticipated and super special. This year, the Johnson clan rendezvoused in Kentucky in July for a weekend of hiking, playing and eating. And just this past week, we came together again for an even longer Christmas gathering, with hiking, eating, Tennessee basketball (guys), pedicures (gals), playing games, and a downtown Knoxville tour.
We feel so blessed by our family and friends, and that God saw fit to plant us in Maryville for our next chapter. Come see us in 2020—we’ll leave a light on.
